I’m a smoothie You’re no picnic He’s in a pickle

SEXUAL CONJUGATIONS

MALE I am touchy-feely You are all over her He is a serial groper I am wearing a bathrobe You are wearing nothing under your bathrobe He is falling out of his bathrobe I am uninhibited You are an exhibitionist He is a flasher My jokes are risque Your jokes are off-colour He goes way too far I am forthright You are forceful He is Harvey Weinstein I am cutting-edge You are not afraid to break taboos He is inappropriate My dog is affectionate Your dog is frisky Have you SEEN what his dog is doing? I watch romance You watch erotica He watches porn I whisper sweet nothings You are suggestive He is lewd I put my cards on the table You won’t take no for an answer He is a sex-pest I may have caught a glimpse You ogled He perved I brush You touch He molests I am a Romeo You are a Casanova He is seeking treatment I take a healthy interest in her You can’t take your eyes off her He is a Peeping Tom I am a charmer You are a smoothie He is helping police with their inquiries I like to offer a helping hand You like to offer a hand He is all hands I met her three times at the very most You met her anything up to three times He met her not once, not twice, but three times My wife is standing by me Your wife is putting on a brave face His wife is very long-suffering FEMALE I had a drink You had a drink or two She was blind drunk I am liberated You aren’t picky She sleeps around I am a flirt You are a tease She is a tart I am body-confident You leave little to the imagination She should know better I am a model You are a glamour model She is a slapper I maintain standards You are a prig She is a kill-joy I was persuaded to pose naked You posed naked She stripped off I dress adventurously You dress provocatively What on earth does she think she looks like in that? I am brave You are brazen She is bra-less I am a high-flier You are ambitious She is pushy I am a political activist You are a political junkie She is a political groupie I was persuaded You put up no resistance She was all over him I bravely came forward You had a grievance She plotted his downfall