If you feel broken, ask for help . . .

IT WAS the annual conference of Relate, and I was glad to spend a day in London so I could attend it. It pleases me to be a patron of this important charity, because relationships are what this column is all about.

Even if readers have painful questions, the unhappiness that prompted the question usually arises from the writer’s relationship with himself or herself.

Relate helps more than 1.85 million people a year — by far the UK’s largest provider of relationship support, employing more than 1,500 counsellors, mediators and educationists.

There’s a strong increase in the take-up of digital services, with Webcam Counselling growing by 280 per cent. I’m an oldfashioned lady who thinks nothing can beat being in a room with a real person, listening to you and noticing your body language and nuances of tone — but each to their own. All caring charities must seek fresh ways of delivering a service.

It bothers us all that people think of Relate as a marriage guidance service. That’s how it began, but now counselling is offered for couples, families, young people and individuals, as well as sex therapy, mediation and training courses. (Visit

relate.org.uk, if you need help). I’m also grieved that people in trouble often give up without seeking help. Why? If you’re sick you go to a doctor, so if your relationship (whatever it is) is going through a period of ill-health, why wouldn’t you try to heal it?

Over the years I’ve heard from people who’ve been helped by counselling, others who didn’t think it worked for them, and some who objected to the cost of it. Yet people will spend cash on booze, cigarettes, gambling, meals, sports and so on — so (unless you are poor) is it too much to invest in the relationships at the centre of your life?

These are pressured times; without mutual understanding society falls apart. MPs may not be providing much of an example of sensible behaviour or respect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t aim higher. We must.