One toy story we could do without!

PASS me my first beaker of mulled wine and throw another marzipan log on the fire. The festive season is almost upon us, heralded by the hamleys Christmas Toy Parade, which took place in London last weekend.

What could be nicer than families gathering together, apple-cheeked children stuffing their mittens into daddy’s hand, marvelling anew at the . . . uh oh. Close your eyes, darling, it’s only two mummies fighting.

As 800,000 people gathered in Regent Street, two women had a punch-up in the Peppa Pig zone — and one of them had to be hospitalised. Police also closed the area after the incident.

Apparently, Postman Pat was there, too, but frankly, he did nothing to help.

The season of goodwill has begun with a bang. Merry Christmas, one and all!