This England

PORKY THE CAT — thinks he’s a pig. HELIX THE CAT — thinks he’s a snail. CAT — cut price musical. CHAT BURGLAR — friendly thief. KITTEN ON THE KEGS — the pub landlord’s pet. BITTEN ON THE KEYS — pianist attacked by the pub landlord’s pet. HOW MUCH IS THAT MOGGIE IN THE WINDOW? — should have gone to Specsavers!