back to basics!

Ditch the gizmos and baffling lighting — just keep it simple, says

one OF John Major’s slogans during his premiership was ‘back to basics’. It failed to set his party or the country on fire, largely because voters did not fully understand what it meant.

But when it comes to property — or rather, the way in which a house or flat is kitted out — there’s little doubt what it means: quality over gimmickry.

So, forget electric blinds that invariably get stuck midway across a window; ditch the fancy lighting that no one can work and dispense with speakers built into the ceilings because the technology is changing so fast that a new gizmo will be on the market almost before your engineer has left the premises.

I speak from experience. Ten years ago, we paid good money to install TVs in various rooms, wired up in such a way that they were all linked, complete with a central Bose sound system that involved wiring running under the fireplace, through floorboards and behind skirting boards.

A couple of weeks ago, we bought a super-duper new TV with all the WiFi and netflix trimmings. Just unplug the old TV and plug in the new one, was what I was told in the shop.

Forget it. We soon realised that at least one of the hidden cables was broken, meaning that a builder had to take up the hearth to find the problem; and then one of the surround-sound speakers went on the blink — not that we ever used it.

Gadgets date badly. And, hallelujah, few buyers are impressed by them.

‘I’m often expected to be amazed by the latest techno fad, but many properties end up looking and feeling like swanky hotel suites,’ says Henry Pryor, a professional buyer and BBC property pundit. ‘But at least in a hotel you can call reception and a man comes up to fix the technology when it breaks down.’

The same can be said for other flourishes that promise more than they deliver. Friends bought a house in the Cotswolds and at first were chuffed that it had a small indoor swimming pool.

But within a few months, the pool heating broke down, the chlorine machine started to play up and the costs of maintenance were such that it became a burden. What’s more, they realised that the space the pool was occupying could be far better used as a den or children’s play area. So, in came the builders and out-flowed the cash.

It’s not unlike how in the Seventies, a Teasmade was all the rage. Dear old Bruce Forsyth used to give them away each week on the Generation Game.

Off went the alarm in the morning and almost immediately you were greeted with a freshly brewed cuppa. But, with it came the unwelcome noise of water reaching boiling point, the pain of having to dismantle the machine and take it downstairs to wash, the bore of bringing up a teabag and some milk the night before.

Minimalism today means flicking a switch and the light comes on — not searching for the tablet that may or may not be charged up and then trying to remember how to work the settings.

‘The problem is that everything changes so fast. Ten years ago, cat cabling was cutting edge, but now it’s redundant as a result of WiFi,’ says Tom Hayman- Joyce, from Hayman-Joyce estate agents, which operates in the Cotswolds.

THere

is a move away from gadgetry and towards practicality. People want to spend money on larger utility rooms, smarter worktops and better tiling,’ he says.

Wine fridges are a case in point. You see more of them because bottles in the main kitchen fridge take up much-needed space. Likewise, if offered the choice, most married couples would opt for his and hers bathrooms rather than snazzy technology that lets you turn washing machines on and off via an iPhone.

And does a ‘ media room’ or ‘ cinema’ really make sense — unless you live in a huge house with several reception rooms? We’re forever being told that people want ‘to buy into a lifestyle’. The encouraging news is that the lifestyle they now want to buy into must be reliable, simple and cost-effective.

estate agents should be thrilled. There can be nothing more frustrating than showing around a buyer and, amid much huffing and puffing, not knowing how to operate the lights.