Ephraim Hardcastle
THE Queen is in Portsmouth today attending the commissioning of HMS Queen Elizabeth – named, incidentally, after our 16th-century monarch, not QE2. It’s hardly an inspiring engagement. Due to have come into service in 2015, defence budget cutbacks mean the £6.2billion carrier won’t now be in action until 2020 at the earliest. The F-35 Lightning jets that will fly from it aren’t ready either. The Ministry of Defence is struggling to work out how we can afford them with costs for the first batch already estimated at £9.1billion and rising. No doubt the new Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, has been burning the midnight oil dreaming up a more positive spin for HM’s benefit.
PRINCE Harry’s fiancee, Meghan Markle, is criticised by fellow actress Christine Evangelista for giving away a mixedbreed dog, Bogart, before moving to the UK. Saying she’s ‘disappointed’ in Ms Markle, Ms Evangelista scolds: ‘We need to be responsible for the animals that we take into our lives and be held accountable.’ It’s reported that the Queen’s dogs rolled over submissively on meeting Ms Markle. Just like Harry.
THE late Christine Keeler was portrayed by Joanne Whalley, now 56, in the 1989 film Scandal. Like Ms Keeler, the Salfordborn star wasn’t short of admirers. One of them, Sir Michael Gambon, 77, lusted after her when they appeared in the 1980s TV drama The Singing Detective, but she didn’t respond to his advances. He recalled: ‘I tried. I loved Joanne Whalley. I got to know her quite well.’ His character, who suffered from psoriasis, had to have lotion applied to his skin by a nurse played by Ms Whalley, pictured with him. ‘We rehearsed the scene ten times,’ Sir Michael added mischievously.
FRANCE’s answer to Elvis Presley, Johnny Hallyday, who has died aged 74, claimed to have fled the sexual advances of fellow Parisian star Edith Piaf while a teenager. Noting that Piaf – 27 years his senior – took an interest in his career when he was 17, he revealed in 2013: ‘I was sitting beside her and, in the middle of the meal, I felt her hand climbing up my thigh. I hesitated. Then I left and ran away. I was almost a virgin at the time. I couldn’t see myself in bed with her. As far as I was concerned, she was an old woman.’
MICHAEL Vaughan, England’s 2005 Ashes-winning captain – now working in Australia for the BBC and BT Sport – is receiving the cold shoulder from his youngest daughter Jemima, seven, after admitting he has eaten kangaroo meat there. She refuses to take his calls since catching him on the hop, so to speak. Colleagues have inflamed the situation on air by alleging that Vaughan has also sampled koala steak and possum stew.
MOCKED for voicing her support for homeless people while privately renting out her two-bedroom flat, pop singer Lily Allen comes from a family unafraid of controversy. Her outspoken father, actor Keith Allen, 64, claimed to have canoodled with 6ft TV commentator Janet Street-Porter, 70, on a snooker table.