Orchestral manoeuvres

HAVING exposed so much ‘inappropriate’ behaviour in politics, entertainment and the media, the torchlit ‘historic’ sex crimes posse have turned their attention to the world of classical music.

James Levine, conductor of the Metropolitan Opera in New York, has been suspended following a complaint that he had sexual contact with a teenager in 1986. Given that where America leads, Britain follows, it can only be a matter of time before the Jimmy Savile squad gets in on the act.

How long until we see a senior police officer standing outside the Albert Hall, appealing for ‘victims’ of Sir Henry Wood to come forward?

Soon they’ll be rounding up dozens of violinists, oboe and piccolo players, accused of ‘historic’ offences in the orchestra pit. We’ll have to learn a whole new meaning for the expression ‘fiddler’s elbow’.