Miss Soubry sat on her own. It was like she had ebola
ANTI-BREXIT Tory Anna Soubry (whose constituents in working class Nottinghamshire voted firmly to leave the EU) sat on her own in the Chamber yesterday. The nearest MP was about ten yards away. It was as though the poor woman had ebola.
Miss Soubry did not seem to mind. She rather likes being unpopular. But the sterile zone around her accentuated the suspicion that after Wednesday night’s rebellion, life will never be quite the same on the Tory benches. The near right corner of the Chamber, where the Europhiles nest, may have to be shaded a different colour by cartographers to designate its uncertain status. Perhaps the key will say ‘territory loyal to Brussels’ or ‘in league with Corbynistas’.
Early in yesterday’s proceedings (Questions to the Department for Exiting the EU), Miss Soubry rose to her hind legs.
Was the voice a little more contralto than normal? Almost as deep as Lee Marvin in Paint Your Wagon. It must have been an exhausting night.
Speaking of those who voted against the Government, the heroine of the metropolitan Remainer elite averred that ‘nobody on these benches took any pleasure’ in the rebellion.
Certain of the other Tory MPs in the Chamber plainly thought that remark was as over-ripe as a black banana. Someone muttered the word ‘champagne’. Miss Soubry, greatly affronted, froze.
‘Nobody,’ she said, eyes blazing, ‘drank champagne. Nobody drank champagne. Not on these benches. Let’s just nail that one.’ This was said with the disgust of a woman who prides herself on knowing her sauvignon verts from her Gewurztraminers.
A few moments later she thought about making a point of order, then stomped down to the Speaker’s Chair, had a long discussion, then left the Chamber, her hair greatly askew. An odd cameo. I start to worry about her.
On the Government bench, Brexit Secretary David Davis was on iffy form, too. Barry Sheerman (Lab, Huddersfield) thought the Secretary of State was not quite as ‘bright-eyed and bushy-tailed’ as normal. Had he been a dog you might certainly have said his ears were pinned back. And gosh, he was hard to hear.
At one point the Speaker urged him to speak more clearly, adding that although he knew Mr Davis was suffering still from a cold, he hoped he was not ‘ mumbling deliberately’. Mr Davis: ‘Good Lord, what a terrible thought!’ In other words, yes, I might be.
Owen Paterson (Con, N Shropshire) expressed the hope that Theresa May would succeed in persuading the EU to agree to a free-trade deal without tariffs. Miss Soubry had not yet left the Chamber at this point and laughed at Mr Paterson, I’d say with contempt.
SIRKeir Starmer, Labour’s spokesman, referred to Wednesday’s night’s vote as ‘humiliating’, an ‘accident’ and a ‘debacle’ (pronounced in best Peter Cook fashion as ‘daybark-ul’). It frequently surprises me that Sir Keir is so uninventive with words. There is a strange lack of imagination in him.
Can he really have been a top lawyer or does the modern law press all the flair out of them? Mr Davis was more philosophical, languidly saying the Government was still thinking how best to respond to the vote.
He took the result ‘seriously’ but he stressed that we would still be leaving the EU, as demanded by 17.4 million voters.
Only a couple of pro-Remain MPs felt emboldened to demand a second referendum.
Sir Edward Leigh (Con, Gainsborough) was more interested in wine – the 42,000 bottles held in the EU’s cellars, along with £13 billion of artwork. How much of that vino and art belongs to Britain? Sir Edward thirstily hoped we would ‘take back control’ of our share of the hooch ‘and not leave it for Mr Juncker to enjoy’.
Fun-loving Miss Soubry had vanished by this point but it would surely have been an issue on which she and Brexiteer Sir Edward could have found common ground.