BUMBLE 0N THE TEST
OFF-CUTTERS MIGHT STOP SMITH
HOW on earth do you bowl to Steve Smith? Among batsmen with 5,000 Test runs, he’s second only to Don Bradman (right), which says it all. England have tried all sorts in this series, including hanging the ball outside off stump, but Smith has been equal to almost everything. Where they might have a bit of luck is with off-cutters. We saw at Adelaide how Craig Overton got one to nip back through the gate, and England are desperate to hit Smith’s front pad. That
could be the way to go for the rest of the series.
SNOW JOKE FOR LINCOLN MARKET!
THERE’S a suggestion that the weather could play a part towards the end of this game which, I have to say, it doesn’t usually in Perth. Perhaps the authorities should take a leaf out of Lincoln Market’s book and call it all off in advance. The good folk of Lincoln were expecting snow, but it never arrived, leaving some poor bloke to tip away £6,000 worth of gluhwein!
BOB’S FESTIVE CHEER
WE’VE not heard much from our old friend Bob ‘The Cat’ Bevan, but I have no doubt he’s spreading Christmas cheer Down Under in his role as the UK’s cultural attache. He’s like their answer to Les Patterson, only much funnier and with the presidency of Kent CCC on his CV. I can only imagine the hilarity at the various tour parties’ festive get-togethers.
I’LL BE HEADING NORTH
I’M getting away from it all this weekend and heading even further north to the Arctic, or is it the Antarctic? Anyway, one of the ‘tics’. I’ll be walking the dog in Northumberland, and staying in Bamburgh, which has a lovely castle (right) and one of the most beautiful cricket grounds in the world. If you want a fixture against the locals, you have to pop into the butchers!
JONNY’S BARNSLEY KISS
THAT was a special moment for Jonny Bairstow — his first Ashes hundred. He should be higher in the order, as pointed out by a few thousand observers. If you watched closely, he celebrated by giving his helmet a Barnsley Kiss. In fact, he gave it two or three for good measure, as they do in that part of the world. It’s a sign of affection, you know. I don’t know what all the fuss is about.
SO THAT’S JUST 17 TO GO
BAIRSTOW spoke well after play, and made the point that the two teams have very different attacks. Australia’s pace means they can blow away the tail, as they did here, but Bairstow also said England had the armoury to take 20 wickets. At stumps on day two, that left them just needing 17 more, then . . .