Horseplay made an ass out of our sarge

CHRISTMAS Day 1975 and at 8am as an on-duty police constable in the Met, I was driving a marked police car in Eltham, South-East London. A fellow PC was operating the wireless beside me and our Sergeant decided to occupy the rear passenger seat. I set off on patrol with not a soul to be seen when I turned into a quiet residential road with detached houses around a large grassed area. All of a sudden a panto horse appeared across the grass and started trotting towards us. I stopped and we started to engage the front of the horse in light-hearted conversation. It was clear that alcohol was present in some shape or form, but the rear end remained silent throughout. After a while we wished the horse a happy Christmas and resumed our patrol until about 10am when we decided to return to the station for a cup of tea. After the Sergeant got out, I said to my colleague: ‘When he goes into the canteen, he’s bound to tell everyone about the panto horse, so deny all knowledge.’ We had him over a treat that Christmas with cries of: ‘Take more water with it, Sarge.’ Luckily, he had a sense of humour — but that didn’t stop him issuing a few expletives in our direction!

Terry Suttle, London SE9.