Ephraim Hardcastle

THE appearance of Prince Harry and Meghan at Sandringham has ignited the Markle Sparkle. The firm Beaumont Etiquette of New York is offering a course called The Duchess Effect. Over five hours upwardly mobile customers learn how to behave like an aristocrat for a mere $599. In fact, Meghan is more likely to become a countess in the short term. ‘Harry’ll get an earldom rather than a dukedom on their marriage,’ suggests my source. ‘This will allow him to be upgraded to a dukedom when his father becomes King and William is made Prince of Wales.’ APROPOS Ms Markle, she wasn’t mentioned by name in the Queen’s Christmas message but Sky TV producers spliced in footage of the actress to add sparkle. However, she has influenced royal protocol. As she and Harry walked to church arm in arm, William and Kate, unusually, held hands in public. VENERABLE host Nicholas Parsons, pictured, presented a 50th anniversary tribute to his longrunning Radio 4 show Just A Minute on Christmas Day, featuring many of its favourite stars. While Kenneth Williams, Derek Nimmo and Paul Merton were all featured in a compilation of clips over the past halfcentury, there was no mention of the show’s longest-serving panellist, Clement Freud, who appeared between 1967 and 2009, the year he died. Why not? Because he was the subject of sex abuse allegations following his death. Parsons, 94, who has hosted the show since its first broadcast, concluded the tribute by telling fans: ‘Apologies if we left out any of your favourites.’ Unlikely he was referring to Freud, whom he disliked. ‘CHUFFED to bits’ to learn that he is finally to receive a knighthood, isn’t Ringo Starr embarrassed about past, anti-royal protestations? Speaking in 2004, the exBeatle complained: ‘I’ve had enough of the Royal Family. It’s about time they went on holiday and stayed there.’ He later reflected: ‘There goes me knighthood – yes, I think it has gone, well and truly. I don’t want to be a Sir. I want to be a duke or a prince. If they come through with that I’ll consider it.’ Cheeky rascal! FAMOUS for insulting the Queen in 1957, when it was unthinkable, the Tory peer Lord Altrincham, who died in 2001, is now a hero of Netflix’s TV series, The Crown. He said in an article that the Queen’s way of speaking was ‘a pain in the neck’, adding: ‘Like her mother she appears to be unable to string even a few sentences together without a written text.’ Her court was ‘too upper-class and British’. Altrincham was hit in the face by a man who was later fined £1 for the assault. But in The Crown we are shown Altrincham being summoned secretly to Buckingham Palace and confronted by the Queen, who angrily asks what he can suggest to improve the monarchy’s public image. She appears impressed by his argument that it must be ‘democratised’. Although some came to appreciate that he was a monarchist who sought to improve the institution, Altrincham – who renounced his peerage, becoming John Grigg, when that became possible in 1963 – remained a hate figure for many. How piquant that he has now become one of the rare heroes in The Crown, albeit posthumously. Email: peter.mckay@dailymail.co.uk