Are YOU a 2017 Mastermind?
From the TV worm that terrified Britain to the fastest ‘cigar’ in the universe, take JOHN HUMPHRYS’ test to find out . . .
Fifteen years ago, i started asking questions on Mastermind — that’s half as long as i’ve been interviewing on BBC Radio 4’s today. And the big difference between the two? On Mastermind they actually want to answer the questions. A bit unfair maybe, and in some respects the two gigs are similar.
i love the story of the shovel owned by a very old man who’d spent his life digging ditches on a farm. A passer-by asked him how long he’d had it. ‘All my life,’ he answered. ‘Surely not the same shovel? ‘Well, i’ve had to replace the blade every few years and a few new handles but, yup, it’s the same shovel.’
So it is with Mastermind. An awful lot has changed about it over the years — the presenters, the technology, the whizzy lighting and clever graphics — but in the end it’s about one person in the spotlight under the relentless pressure of a ticking clock.
i can’t (sadly) replicate all that for this quiz, but when you’re answering these questions, try timing yourself. in two minutes, a good Mastermind contender would get about a dozen right. Good luck! 1. Who regretted a ‘moment of clarity’ that came to her on a walking holiday? 2. Which Eurocrat became embroiled in an investigation into wiretapping? 3. Who appeared at Glastonbury this summer and got a rock star’s welcome even though he didn’t sing a note? 4. And why did he give colleague Emily Thornberry a slap on the chest? 5. What TV programme was said to have ‘too many dragons . . . not enough sex’? 6. Why did scientists get excited when they spotted an object that looked like a cigar hurtling through our solar system? 7. And what was it, really? 8. Which actress decided she’d had enough of being ‘Nurse Who?’ and took up a different medical title? 9. Which real-life nurse switched career to train as a priest and is now the most senior woman in the Church of England? 10. Why did Vanellope Hope capture the nation’s heart? 11. Of whom did Ricky Gervais write: ‘He was tear-jerkingly generous, gushing money and time like an enchanted spring?’ 12. Which two glamorous judges seemed to find each other’s company strictly unappealing? 13. Why did a worm terrify half the nation on primetime telly? 14. And where is its name from? 15. Why was the BBC unlikely to feature poaching in its new summer cookery programme? 16. Which brothers fell out over a tribute concert for the Manchester bombing victims? 17. What took Francois Gabart 42 days, 16 hours and 40 minutes? 18. Why did Jane Austen strike it rich . . . in plastic? 19. Why might a punch-up on a pavement in Bristol have helped Australia win back the Ashes? 20. Who is Doria Radlan? 21. And why is her daughter so famous? And now — for a little light relief — something we never do on Mastermind: multiple-choice questions. 1. What did the Committee on Standards in Public Life say was the most significant factor leading to harassment before the election in June? A: Jeremy Corbyn’s beard B: tabloid newspapers C: Social media D: BBC Question time 2. Who said the way to win is more about saving those you love than killing those you hate? A: Donald trump B: Vladimir Putin C: A character in the new film Star Wars: the Last Jedi D: the Pope 3. Why was Prue Leith ‘mortified’ after she tweeted about the Great British Bake Off? A: She admitted she ‘cheats’ by stuffing her Christmas turkey the day before B: She said she’d prefer a boiled egg for Christmas dinner C: She told Paul Hollywood he should shave off his beard D: She gave away the Bake Off winner before the programme was broadcast 4. Why did environmental scientists tell us to stop putting fleeces and polyester clothing in the washing machine? A: the soap gets in the sewers and clogs them up B: the power used contributes to global warming C: Buying natural wool is better D: One single wash creates millions of plastic fibres which threaten our oceans 5. At which event did shoddy sticky-back plastic, a P45 form and a throat lozenge combine to embarrass a public figure? A: A live edition of Blue Peter that didn’t go to plan B: theresa May’s speech at the tory party conference C: An edition of Have i Got ed Sheeran news for You featuring D: Of the the BBC Year competition, Sports Personality won by Sir Mo farah 6. When George Clooney (left) had 14 friends around for dinner he gave each of them a gift. What was it? A: A voucher for free meals at McDonald’s for life B: A box set of his movies C: A signed autobiography D: A suitcase containing a million dollars in cash 7. The New York Times asked 60 of Donald Trump’s friends and aides how much TV he watches each day. What did they say? A: Between four and six hours B: never more than eight hours C: not long enough, if he doesn’t tweet while he’s watching D: All the time: he even keeps a monitor on during meetings 8. According to an NHS survey, women are more happy than men when they . . . A: Get married B: Get divorced C: Have their first child D: Pass the age of 85 9. What did Mrs May (below) say was the naughtiest thing she remembered doing as a child? A: throwing darts at a picture of Michael foot B: Playing truant so she could attend secret meetings of the Young Conservative Society C: Running through a field of wheat D: Promising her parents she’d never become a politician 10. Why will this year’s Oscars ceremony go down in history? A: none of the actresses cried in their acceptance speech B: no one thanked their mother C: A special award for services to the film industry went to Harvey Weinstein D: Warren Beatty and faye Dunaway read out the wrong card for best film: La La Land instead of Moonlight
11. What links the words antifa, broflake, gorpcore and youthquake? A: You’ve never heard of them B: You’ll probably never hear of them again C: You don’t want to know D: they were on the shortlist for ‘word of the year’ in the 2017 Oxford english Dictionary