2017 NEWS QUIZ
1. What did Theresa May reveal gets her ‘up and going’? A. Middle-of-the-night-flights-to-Brussels for urgent Brexit deadlines B. Philip unexpectedly whisking her off for a romantic yodelling holiday in the Swiss Alps C. Abba’s Dancing Queen 2. Which of the following items sold at auction this year? A. Waxwork Michael Gove (£1,957) B. Holly Willoughby’s handwritten essay on Sophocles’ Antigone (£215) C. Pair of Hitler’s underpants (£5,000)
3. What did Jonathan Ross (pictured) do on Celebrity Juice Live while wearing a blindfold? A. Snog David Hasselhoff B. Dance cheek to cheek with a naked pensioner C. Eat a pasty hidden in a man’s pants 4. Complete the headline: . . . in line to become Olympic sport A. Jumping on the spot B. Texting C. Pole dancing 5. Complete the headline: . . . is named after Donald Trump A. New variety of ugli fruit B. Slime-mold louse C. Tiny moth with a scaly yellow head and unique genitalia
6. What did Spanish football club Atletico Astorga use as inspiration for its new home kit? A. Carles Puigdemont’s haircut B. The Incredible Hulk C. Salvador Dali’s melting clocks 7. Which new badges were under consideration by Girlguiding UK? A. Vegetarian values; cosmetics; relationship skills B. Vlogging; festival goer; upcycling C. Carer; coping with obesity; self-esteem 8. Complete the headline: Seagull swooped down to . . . reveals MP A. Snatch Boris Johnson’s lunch B. Vote against the fish quotas C. Steal cash from visitor 9. Complete the headline: BBC is ordered to reveal staff’s . . . A. Tattoos B. Social class C. BMI 10. What stunt did serial prankster Oobah Butler pull off this year? A. Get Robert Mugabe named goodwill ambassador by the UN B. Get Ed Sheeran an MBE for services to music C. Get TripAdvisor to rate his shed as the best restaurant in London 11. One of the UK’s biggest milk producers revealed plans to make what the next big trend? A. Whisky milkshake B. Curds ’n Whey C. Fizzy milk 12. Which was the real headline? A. Theresa May unveils her new tattoo B. PVC underwear could help keep dementia at bay, say experts C. Jesus cleared to play for Man City 13. Complete the headline: . . . worse than Luftwaffe, says priest A. Cyclists B. Town planners C. Deathwatch beetle 14. Complete the headline: . . . can stop germs spreading
A. Nude surgeons B. Self-cleaning public toilets C. Antiseptic think tank 15. What record did 62-year-old Ashrita Furman set at the National Botanic Garden of Wales? A. Eating 2.5kg of raw leeks in two minutes B. Fastest rendition of Cwm Rhondda (29.43 seconds) C. Walking 160 ft balancing a lawnmower on his chin
16. Where did David Cameron (pictured) reveal that he plans to write his memoirs? A. In his man cave B. In a £25,000 luxury shepherd’s hut on wheels that he installed in his garden C. In a Cornish fisherman’s cottage, wearing his Robert Snodgrass No.7 shirt 17. What reason did Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane give for dropping Marco Asensio from his team to play Apoel Nicosia in the Champions League? A. ‘He has a pimple on his leg which means B. ‘A violent he cannot allergic lift reaction his sock’ to him a groin routine strain’ waxing procedure gave C. ‘His chronic xanthophobia means he cannot play against teams wearing yellow’ 18. Complete the headline: Man pays tribute to friend by . . . A. Flushing remains down 17 MLB ballpark toilets B. Running backwards in the Boston Marathon dressed as Liberace C. Eating and drinking nothing but beer and pretzels for 26 days 19. Complete the headline: Trump challenges Rex Tillerson to . . . A. Pie-eating contest B. See who can pee the highest C. An IQ test 20. How did retired postman John Fletcher save his 45-year-old tortoise Freda after finding her drowning at the bottom of his garden pond? A. He used his Dyson V8 Animal Cordless, complete with CPR attachment B. He converted her into a turtle C. He gave her the kiss of life for an hour before warming her up with a hair-dryer