Messaging an ex online? You’re ‘micro-cheating’

ONCE upon a time, the telltale signs of cheating were more obvious.

But lipstick on a collar and ‘staying late at the office’ have been replaced by heart emojis or following an ex on Instagram.

Psychologist Dr Martin Graff has raised concerns about the rise of ‘ micro- cheating’ using modern technology. It is a term used for friendly behaviour that verges on infidelity, and has opened up a whole world of betrayal online. Other examples include publicly complimenting someone of the opposite sex online, tagging them in a post as part of an inside joke and saving someone’s contact details on your phone under a false name.

‘Micro-cheating can be seen as a precursor to having sex with someone who is not your partner,’ said Dr Graff, from the University of South Wales. ‘People talk online, they become friendly, and it acts as a stepping stone on the way to cheating. Social media creates more opportunity for people to interact, so creates an opportunity for infidelity that did not exist before.’

Something as simple as repeatedly ‘liking’ someone’s posts on Instagram can be seen as a betrayal. Dr Graff said: ‘Like it or not, social media has introduced a whole other category between cheating and not cheating. People respond emotionally to their partner’s behaviour online.

‘Social media is a big part of everyone’s life, people are using it more and more, and how people behave online can be extremely ambiguous.’