The art of surviving the five-hour handshake
ALTHOUGH they may have been on opposite sides of the political divide, Lea Berman and Jeremy Bernard had one thing in common; both served as social secretary at the U.S. White House (Berman under George W. and Laura Bush, Bernard with Barack and Michelle Obama).
The job required concentration, deft manmanagement and attention to detail for, as the person responsible for the smooth running of the presidential couples’ social calendar, failure was not an option.
Their experiences have been turned into a self-help manual, offering a guide to etiquette as well as a fascinating glimpse into life at America’s most famous address.
Berman recalls how George W. and Laura Bush would often shake hands up to 1,400 times a day at various social functions, a mindnumbing ritual that took five hours to complete. It was noticed the average encounter took 19 seconds, so Berman began racing the clock to get people through more quickly.
Using humour and charm, she reduced each greeting to a mere ten seconds, thus saving the presidential couple 20 minutes a day.
The ability to deal with unexpected crises without panicking is another vital skill, and there are plenty of examples here — from checking that the candles used at an important banquet are fully kosher to comply with the religious sensibilities of the guests, to mollifying a celebrity booked to appear at a White House dinner who demands to be flown in by helicopter and insists that a gold star be placed on their dressing room door (‘What dressing room? This is the White House!’ Berman wryly notes).
The authors recount numerous examples of trying to second-guess the anticipated weather for al fresco events.
A predecessor in their post once asked President Eisenhower whether an imminent lunch should be moved indoors to avoid a possible soaking, to which he famously retorted: ‘You decide. I haven’t worried about the weather since June 6, 1944.’
Often it’s our mistakes that can teach us the most. When a carefully planned visit by the Queen to Ronald Reagan’s California ranch in 1983 was disrupted by mud slides, a dinner was hastily arranged instead at Trader Vic’s, a venerable restaurant in San Francisco, at which someone decided that fortune cookies should be handed out for each guest to read aloud.
When Prince Philip’s turn came, he announced heavily: ‘You will marry a very wealthy person.’ The incident passed off without rancour, but it was a close shave.
And, if you happen to have a boss who’s beyond reasoning with, the authors advise a line such as ‘Please don’t yell at me’ as a strong but respectful response (although whether it would work with the current incumbent of the White House is left unanswered).
As the title suggests, the book is an homage to what many consider to be the American Ideal — that of treating people well, even if you don’t agree with their views. Perhaps their message is best summed up by Michelle Obama’s celebrated phrase during the 2016 Presidential campaign — ‘When they go low, we go high … ’