Straight to the POINT

÷ DOMINIC SANDBROOK describes Jeremy Corbyn as a useful idiot (Mail). A man can change. Corbyn is no longer useful.

F. CRANSHAW, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs.

÷ DID the Russian curler accused of taking drugs at the Winter Olympics take something to keep himself awake?

T. CoATeS, Birmingham.

÷ I WISH to apply for the position of head gardener and chief photographer at Liz Hurley’s gaff. Unfortunately, I can only afford to pay £10 per hour.

RAY H. DoVeR, Ingatestone, essex.

÷ HOW dare actress Lesley Manville assume people who are talented enough to knit don’t have a sex life.

Mrs M. GoSLING, Braintree, essex.

÷ WHY does the House of Commons stop for school holidays? You would have thought that with the Brexit negotiations falling behind schedule, it would be all hands to the pump.

C. NeWToN, Irthlingborough, Northamptonshire.

÷ DEFINITION of irony: Lion eats poacher (Mail).

IAN GReeN, Malvern, Worcs.

÷ WE ARE told to look after our grandparents in our own homes, as in the TV series The Waltons. The only problem was that by the time they all finished saying goodnight to each other, it was time to get up.

JoHN DoNoGHUe, London e6.

÷ ALONGSIDE the Old Spice Girls tour, how about a reality show, Last Of The Winter Tanning Lotion, with a running gag of trying to get Posh to laugh.

BoB HoDGeS, Worthing, W. Sussex. FOR permission to copy cuttings for internal management and information purposes, please contact the Newspaper Licensing Agency (NLA), PO Box 101, Tunbridge Wells TN1 1WX. Tel: 01892 525273. e-mail: copy@nla.co.uk