Tie-breaker that caused me alarm

SITTINg down to dinner with the family one evening, the phone rang. It was the police: the office alarm had gone off. I was about to take over the management of the largest housing office in Basildon, Essex, and had gone through the ceremony of the keys with the previous manager, so I knew that the alarm key was in the office safe. When I pulled up in the office car park, I could hear the alarm ringing out like church bells on a Sunday. With the police, I checked the office to ensure no one had broken in and found all was in order. But the constant ringing of the alarm was getting on my nerves. The police left, and I came face-to-face with what would be the bane of my life for the next ten years: the safe. It was tucked away under a desk in the cashier’s office and you had to kneel to open it. I had been given the combination, but no one had told me that you first had to turn the dial to the left before entering the numbers. After many tries, I thought: ‘OK, you win. I give up. First round to you.’ I reluctantly phoned the previous manager, who talked me through the procedure. With a sigh of relief, I finally opened the safe, retrieved the alarm key and turned off the din. Pleased with myself, I put the key in my pocket, knelt and locked the safe. Then I tried to stand up, but couldn’t. My tie was stuck in the safe’s door. No problem, I thought, I’ll simply undo my tie. But the safe had both ends of my tie securely in its grip. Thus trapped, I found I could hardly reach the dials. To my relief, I saw a pair of scissors on top of a desk. I thought about the cashiers coming in on Monday and finding half of their new manager’s tie sticking out of the safe. I would never live it down. But I soon realised, to my horror, that the scissors were just out of reach. In the end, I nearly strangled myself reaching down to try to unlock the safe, not forgetting to turn it to the left first. After fighting the safe lock for half-an-hour, I finally freed myself. After that, I always kept the alarm key in my pocket, out of reach of that tie-grabber.

Jim Reeve, Chelmsford, Essex.