Just

when you think you have got to grips with this crazy old world, a ball of confusion bowls over all your skittles. In the space of a few days we have learned that despite years of being programmed with dental propaganda, toothpaste doesn’t help beat enamel erosion, bottled water contains traces of plastic, tinned sweetcorn is better for you than fresh, an apple a day won’t keep the doctor away — because some varieties contain two teaspoons of sugar apiece — and platypus milk may hold the secret cure to many modern illnesses. Question: does anyone know how to milk a platypus? I suspect Bear Grylls might know the ropes.