Bossy wives who ‘infantilise’ their husbands with to-do lists

MANY women ‘infantilise’ their husbands by leaving lists of instructions on how to run the house while they are away, a head teacher has warned.

Vicky Bingham, of girls- only South Hampstead High School, hit out at those who micro-manage tasks such as play dates – and even chopping vegetables.

She said such mothers often have demanding jobs and need help, but believe their household routine will fall apart if they let their husbands take over.

Mrs Bingham, whose school charges £18,000 a year, said men’s domestic ineptitude was a myth and women should learn to trust their other halves more.

She warned that failing to do so could make their daughters believe they had sole responsibility for household chores.

Mrs Bingham said: ‘I have known friends leave instructions for their husbands on “looking after the children” when they have been away on business.

‘I have listened to them lament apparently having to micro-manage decisions about coats, socks, carrot batons, baths and homework, on top of demanding jobs. Even if fathers are shouldering their fair share of chores, it seems that many women of my generation still carry the

‘You can’t be amazing at everything’

mental load, and believe that if they didn’t the household would fall apart.’

She warned that ‘extreme multi-tasking’ had become a point of feminine pride, and ‘busy-ness’ was a badge of ‘professional and maternal honour’, adding: ‘What kind of blueprint are some of us providing for our daughters by infantilising men?’

The head, who has a nine-year- old daughter, said female friends had told her she was ‘brave’ and had her husband ‘well trained’ because he was organising their child’s birthday party. Mrs Bingham said she did not believe women were better organisers than men, but it had become expected of them.

She told the London Evening Standard newspaper: ‘Women still assume the mental responsibility for remembering the uniform, the birthday presents, World Book Day costumes and play dates. It should be a shared thing.’

But she added that young men were becoming more concerned with balancing life and work, and said fathers of pupils at her school were as involved in their daughters’ education as their mothers were.

She added: ‘There is no value in trying to live up to perceived ideas of female perfection. You can’t be amazing at everything, at least not all the time.’