MUSIC TO MAKE YOUR EARS BLEED

THAMES WATER Ease of finding number? Average. A small ‘contact us’ tab on the firm’s homepage takes me through the options before a number is shown. Buttons pressed? Three. How long to get through to a human? Ten minutes, 20 seconds. Music: Scratchy lounge music. Voiceovers? Every 20 seconds a woman thanked me for my patience