BUMBLE AT THE TEST
ENGLAND IN LIMBO
THE morning session showed where England are as a Test team. They weren’t sure where to go and were hesitant, not helped by New Zealand slowing it down, with five overs in 30 minutes at one stage. England didn’t grasp the game and that meant they were in limbo at lunchtime.
PRETTY FIFTIES WON’T DO
IT WAS frustrating yet again to see four England batsmen get pretty 50s in the second innings and nobody go on to a century. The coaches will be infuriated by that and the players will be angry with themselves, too. They’ve done all the hard work and it has to be lapses in concentration that are to blame.
HE’S ALL RIGHT, JACK
ENGLAND may just have found a spinner. Jack Leach is exactly that, an out-and-out left-arm spinner. He’s been handy with the bat but his business is spinning the ball and he’s been accurate, bowled at a good pace and set his own fields. When he gets on a pitch with a bit of help, he will be a real asset.
JUST GET ON WITH IT!
TIME-WASTING is not mentioned in the laws of cricket. But I’ll say it again, I’m fed up with it. Tests just meander along with 12th men coming and going with gloves, bats, helmets and all sorts. Fifteen overs an hour shouldn’t be any sort of problem at all, but nobody seems bothered.
NOTHING TO TRUMPET
OUR New Zealand broadcast colleagues are infatuated with the Barmy Army and they wanted me to go over to them before play yesterday to do a couple of songs. I got a Sweet Caroline out of them but sadly Billy ‘the Trumpet’ Cooper, known here as Tommy, hadn’t arrived, so we had to put our own beat to it.
BEER HERE IS ZOOM JUICE
I’M coming to the end of this trip and I still haven’t found a decent beer. The Kiwis have a lot of craft beers but they are zoom juice! I asked for a nice pale ale in a bottle in one bar and they gave me one that came highly recommended. I looked at the label and it was 7.5 per cent. It would start a jet engine, that.
WHAT A SPECIAL CITY
IT’S been inspiring to be back in Christchurch and seeing the development that is going on after that terrible earthquake seven years ago. It will take a long time and they reckon it could be another 10 years before the city is completely finished, but it will look fabulous. As usual in New Zealand, the people in the garden city have been special. When can I come again?