Why I’m uneasy about this posthumous post

When she was only 29 years old, Dr Kate Granger was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.

She died four years later, in 2016, but had time to plan a few things.

Reflecting the plot of Cecelia Ahern’s best- selling book, PS I Love You, Dr Granger prepared cards and letters to her husband, for him on significant dates in the future. he has just opened the most recent one for his 40th birthday, in which she wonders if he still has ‘a full head’ of hair.

This lovely and understandable gesture of hers is not uncommon. I have heard many similar stories. Yet however loving the intention, are these missives from the grave really in the best interests of the surviving partner?

In a way, they don’t let the grieving spouse move on. And however unintentionally, they peel open wounds that might be tentatively healing.

Yes, a letter kept for a child’s wedding day is a precious thing.

But rather than a ribbon of letters to your other half stretching into the future, wouldn’t it be kinder just to let them get on with it?