Time to rhyme, we’re heading for a wedding!
... AND OTHER ROYAL POEMS WOT WAS WROTE
With only 18 days to go the Royal Wedding, we still haven’t heard a squeak out of the Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy.
Five years ago, she managed to produce a long poem for the marriage of William and Kate, but she has shied away from Royal subjects ever since, ignoring the Queen’s 90th birthday, the retirement of the Duke of Edinburgh and their 70th wedding anniversary, as well as the births of Kate and William’s three children.
Personally, i was sad that Ms Duffy failed to come up with a poem in 2011 to commemorate Prince Andrew’s resignation from his job as the UK’s Business Ambassador.
And for some reason she wasn’t even inspired to write a poem in praise of the Duchess of York’s installation as Visiting Professor of Philanthrepreneurship at the University of huddersfield in 2016.
i hope she won’t look back on her present silence as a missed opportunity. After all, harry rhymes with ‘ marry’, and so should be a godsend.
As luck would have it, harry also rhymes with Barry, Gary and Larry, though sadly none of these names will be represented at St George’s Chapel on the big day, unless, of course, the Duchess of Cambridge’s unreliable Uncle Gary puts in a surprise appearance.
harry’s bride presents rather more problems. it’s hard to think of a good rhyme for Meghan. ‘Armageddon’ almost works, but it’s not exactly festive.
the best tip i can offer the Poet Laureate would be to somehow bring the subject around to school sports and then end one line with ‘Meghan’ and the second with ‘Egg ’n’, before beginning the next with ‘Spoon race’.
it’s all very tricky. traditionally, the Laureateship is poetry’s Becher’s Brook. Searching for inspiration to welcome a bride from abroad, Carol Ann Duffy might be tempted to look to her illustrious predecessor, Alfred, Lord tennyson.
When Princess Alexandra, brideto-be of the future King Edward Vii, arrived in England from Denmark in 1863, tennyson came up with: O joy to the people and joy to the throne, Come to us, love us and make us your own; For Saxon or Dane or Norman we Teuton or Celt, or whatever we be, We are each all Dane in our welcome of thee, Alexandra!
Of all tennyson’s poems, this is probably the closest in style to Pam Ayres.
Aged 81, poor old John Masefield felt obliged to commemorate Princess Margaret’s 1960 wedding. Luckily for him, it took place in spring.
this is better than summer, which rhymes with plumber, slummer, dumber and bummer, none of which would have quite struck the right note. But even spring failed to turn up trumps: . . . Now here, a nation prays, that a bright spring May bless the day with sunlight and with flowers, And through this ever-threatened life of ours, May bless the lives with every welcome thing. Sir John Betjeman, appointed in 1972, found being Laureate an ordeal. his first test came with Princess Anne’s wedding to Mark Philips in November 1973. the prospect gave him writer’s block, and even made him physically ill. in the end, his doctor had to step in. he phoned the Keeper of the Privy Purse, and begged him to ask the Queen to have a word. She did her best to reassure Sir John that there was no obligation. But he persevered, and finally came up with a poem that ended: Trumpets blare at the entrance Multitudes crane and sway Glow, white lily in London, You are high in our hearts today!
this is doubtless the one and only time that the Princess Royal has ever been compared to a white lily. But even this awkward offering outshines Sir Andrew Motion’s embarrassing rap- style verse to mark Prince William’s 21st birthday: Better stand back Here’s an age attack But the second in line Is dealing with it fine.
With so little time to go, will this whistle- stop survey of past offerings help inspire the present Poet Laureate to an act of creation? All things considered, perhaps it’s best to hope not.