Blind date

EvERy week, we send a couple out on a blind date. This time, Robert Hayward, 61, had dinner at Buffalo Bills in Southampton with Donna Clayton, 54.

Robert, who lives in Poole, has been engaged three times, and works as a gardener and photographer. Donna, who has been married twice and has two grown-up children, lives in Southampton and works in accounts for a motor company.

ROBERT, 61, SAYS:

I WASN’T nervous about the date and I got there good and early. Donna looked very nice when she came in — attractive, slim and well-dressed. I was actually on my phone telling friends I was excited about the date when she arrived at the table!

I went round and gave her a kiss and pulled her chair back. We are both chatty people so we just started talking, and there was lots I liked about her.

We got on so well for the first two hours. I tried so hard to make the evening a success — I dressed up and did everything by the book; I was very attentive, and she was very chatty at first.

But then something seemed to change. I started to feel that I was having to do all the work. I was flirting a little, reaching over and touching her arm, but I was getting nothing back from her, and I started to sense that she wasn’t interested in me.

Deep down, I think I knew then that she was never going to see me again.

Having seemed interested at first, when I suggested going somewhere after our meal, or exchanging numbers, she declined. She walked me to my station, and took my arm, but then she virtually pushed me away from her to go and get my train. She offered her lips for a short kiss on departure but that was it.

I was hoping to take it a little further — I would be up for a second meeting, even though she is a smoker which put me off a little. But I haven’t heard from her since.

I do wonder if she was upset because I lied about my age. I had said I was 56 — because that is how I think I look, and there isn’t a woman on any dating site who would go out with someone over 60, so that’s why I did it. But I’m actually 61.

We were talking about fitness and staying active, and I didn’t want to lie so I just told her. She asked me why I’d lied, and I explained. She said she understood and then she let it go.

But I think she used my lying about my age as a reason not to engage. Women will fish for a weakness in a man, and if you’re totally honest with them, there is no way they’ll stay with you.

I’m a gentleman and loyal, but that’s not what’s in demand these days — I think sometimes women are looking for someone brash, which I just don’t get.

I’ve been looking for romance for years. My last date was ages ago. I find it incredibly difficult to meet someone nowadays. I’ve been engaged three times, but never actually found The One.

I would love to meet someone sporty, caring and loyal. But I’ve been on a dating website for 12 years and only met one person!

So I was very disappointed at the end of the date and quite upset. I had pinned my hopes on it, and it had seemed to be going all right, but there wasn’t that spark from her. LIKED? She was honest, attractive and had nice eyes. REGRETS? None. COFFEE OR CAB? Coffee — I wanted to stay for longer and get to know her a little better. Verdict: 7/10

DONNA, 54, SAYS:

My INITIAL thought when I met Robert was that he was not really my type — but I was happy to give it a go. I could tell he was fit and healthy, he had his hair and he was chatty, which I like.

and at first, we got on so well that I was thinking I would definitely like to see him again.

But as soon as he admitted he had lied about his age, I knew I wouldn’t — because I would always wonder what else he had lied about.

I’ve dealt with a liar in the past and it was horrible, so I don’t want to deal with one again. He did explain why he’d lied, and I understand — he is fit and active, and worries what women will think — but I still prefer someone to be up front. I didn’t say anything at the time, but it changed my mind about him. What’s the point of lying when eventually your date is going to find out, and then you’ll have to explain you’ve lied already? It’s a shame, because until then, I’d got a very positive impression of him, despite being nervous beforehand about meeting a complete stranger. We did not stop talking for the entire meal and they kicked us out of the restaurant in the end. I didn’t flirt, though. I felt he was flirting with me. With some men, there is a lot of sexual innuendo which I’m not sure about on a first date. Maybe it was because he felt relaxed, but he did come on quite strong. Even so, up until the lie, we were getting on really well and I might have seen him again — but the lie was a deal breaker. He suggested going on somewhere else, but I don’t believe you should get drunk on a first date. you go slow and then you know, is my philosophy. I think you need five dates to really figure out if there is potential. We didn’t get a chance to exchange numbers because he had to dash for his train. But I don’t want to see him again. It hasn’t put me off dating though. I’ve been married twice, many years ago, and have been single for five years. But as my daughter says, you might meet that special person when you’re least expecting it. The problem is I don’t go many places where I’m likely to meet people. I have two grown-up children, and three grandchildren who I look after sometimes, but it would be nice to have someone for me. I flicker in and out of dating websites, but they are hard work. I go on dates from time to time, but usually it’s not very exciting. This has given me the impetus to get out and try a bit harder though as it would be nice to find someone. LIKED? He was very chatty and relaxed and very much a gentleman, which I like. REGRETS? None, apart from the fact he lied. It’s a shame. COFFEE OR CAB? Cab, sadly. Verdict: 6/10

It was going really well – then everything changed ...

Lying about his age was a deal breaker for me ...