LITTLEJOHN

AS IF the NHS isn’t under enough pressure, it’s now being urged to treat so-called sex addiction. Charities say there has been a 400 per cent increase over the past decade in the number of people claiming to be addicted to sex. But who can say what’s addiction and what isn’t? One woman was diagnosed with the ‘disease’ because five times a day wasn’t enough for her. There are

those who would think her frigid. The internet has, of course, made sex freely available. Ephraim Hardcastle disclosed yesterday that the chap tipped to take over the RSPCA is a big fan of the gay dating app, Grindr. Chris Sherwood even used it on a visit to Uzbekistan. ‘Your nearest hook-up is Vlad, 57km away, over the mountains, behind the goatshed.’ No two people are the same. A woman

has just been jailed after stabbing her boyfriend while they were indulging in ‘clown sex’. I know I lead a sheltered life, but that’s a new one on me. Making love while dressed up as Coco the Clown? How do they manage to keep a straight face? I’m reminded of the man who was found hanging from a rope in his attic, wearing a deep-sea diver’s outfit. The coroner said it was a sex game that had ‘gone

horribly wrong’. I recall speculating at the time that, presumably, it must have gone horribly right at some stage. Do we really want our A&E departments cluttered up with men in gimp masks and women in clown suits seeking sex addiction treatment? Excuse me, nurse, I’ve been waiting hours. ‘I’m not a nurse, big boy, I’m a serial sex addict with a medical fetish. Are you a doctor . . ?’