MOTHER’S TEETOTAL DIARY

FRIDAY:

My colleagues look shocked when i order a Coke — minus the vodka — and are amused when i explain why. ‘how will you cope?’ they chide. i think i’ll cope fine, but i do miss that first sip this evening. it feels a bit of let-down.

SATURDAY:

Graham and i order a takeaway curry in the evening and, while he dishes up, i put the kettle on. tea doesn’t compliment the food nearly as well as wine and the evening drags a bit. Graham tells me i’m not as chatty as usual. at 11pm, i go to bed. it takes ages to fall asleep, i manage a few unbroken hours and wake up feeling exhausted.

SUNDAY:

Graham and i go out for a meal with a couple of his business clients. While he shares a bottle of wine with one of them, i stick to water. Even though i’m not the only one not drinking, i do feel deprived. While i don’t exactly crave alcohol, i just don’t like the feeling that i’m not ‘allowed’ to have it.

MONDAY:

My daughters, none of whom see the appeal of drinking, keep telling me how pleased they are with me. they’ve never really mentioned my drinking before, but now it’s become an ‘issue’. i’m fine — why does everyone keep mentioning it?

TUESDAY:

i check in with Kala and am shocked when she tells me how much her week of drinking like me is costing — over £100! i’ve never totted up how much i spend, and it has definitely made me think about what else i could be spending that money on.

WEDNESDAY:

Where is this incredible energy that everyone tells me i’d be experiencing? i’m still waking up feeling drained. i miss ‘switching off’ at the end of the day with a glass of wine, and getting to sleep is still a problem.

THURSDAY:

i have a hot bath, a ham sandwich and a cup of tea after work and am in bed by 8pm, feeling washed out.

i’m so unwell that i stay there for another four days. i feel utterly worn out. Surely it can’t be anything to do with giving up alcohol?

i’ve since learned that people often feel terrible in the first few weeks after giving up drink. the body gets so used to having alcohol as a depressant that your sleep is terribly disturbed!

also, alcohol represents a lot of sugar, and it could be that the body has registered this rich calorie source has suddenly been cut off and gone into shock.

So, in the end i go a fortnight without alcohol and it’s the following weekend before i allow myself Cointreau coffee and a glass of wine, after a meal with Graham. it feels great, like a restriction has been lifted and i can properly switch off from any anxieties again. i feel more relaxed than i have in ages. i still don’t sleep well, but at least i’ve had a nice evening to compensate.

MUM’S VERDICT:

THIS experiment has really made me take stock of how much i was drinking — and the huge amount of money i’ve been spending.

although my daughters tell me i need to cut back because of all the health benefits, right now saving money and losing weight are bigger motivators for me.

Stopping altogether would be tricky, because everyone in my social circle drinks and i’d feel self- conscious. Plus, i couldn’t go through that awful ‘ detox’ week again. i’ve never felt so ill.

instead, i’ve decided to cut down drastically. i still don’t look or feel better for it — but perhaps that will happen over time. My bank account is feeling terrific though!