Straight to the POINT

IF YOU are the victim of a crime and want immediate attention, say you are a celebrity. Six squad cars will be racing to the scene with their iPhones ready to take a selfie with you.

JOHN EVANS, Wokingham, Berks.

THE only mugs in the Whitby lifeboat saga are the RNLI bosses.

CHRISTOPHER ELLIS, Colkirk, Norfolk.

HAS anyone found any of the new 10p coins in their change?

ANDREW BOSLEY, Morley, Derbys.

A PITY there will be no Nobel Prize for Literature this year because the Nobel committee hasn’t acted in a very noble manner.

DENNIS FITZGERALD, Melbourne, Australia.

PRINCE Harry must be wondering why women change men. They are just following the first three steps of marriage: aisle, altar, hymn.

KEN McLEOD, Leeds.

THE picture spread of celebrity legs (Mail) was disappointing: thin, bony with knobbly knees and scrawny ankles. What’s the point of a face-lift when your pins are so unattractive?

E. MARTIN, Ipswich, Suffolk.

PUT a road sign warning of uneven surfaces at Land’s End, another at John o’Groats and spend the money saved from having these signs on every other road on filling in the potholes.

MERVYN CLARK, Crewkerne, Somerset.

TESCO is selling four organic pears sitting on a tray enclosed by a hard case and wrapped in a bag — all single-use plastic items that are thrown away.

Name supplied, Barnstaple, Devon.

FOR permission to copy cuttings for internal management and information purposes, please contact the Newspaper Licensing Agency (NLA), PO Box 101, Tunbridge Wells TN1 1WX. Tel: 01892 525273. e-mail: copy@nla.co.uk