Madam Cate ties me in knots!

CAtE BLANCHEtt greeted me with: ‘You’ve come undone, Baz. Let me fix you.’

it was my bow tie. i am pretty hopeless at tying them and usually cheat at black-tie affairs by wearing a tom Ford knitted silk (regular) tie.

But for the official evening screenings at Cannes, they’re forbidden.

You have to wear a bow tie, and i hate those ready-made things. so i gave myself enough time to tie one. Or so i thought.

‘i’m impressed you’re wearing a proper one,’ said Blanchett, who i’ve taken to calling Madam President now she’s chairing the main Cannes jury. (‘it does have a nice ring to it,’ she said.)

Once Madam President had fixed me, i dashed off to dine on caviar bouchon, followed by lobster salad (which i’m not meant to have, but did anyway), duck and, for dessert, raspberries topped with silver leaf. delicious.