Blind date
He looks older than me — I assumed he was in his 60s
EVERY week, we send a couple out on a blind date and report back. This time, Gary Enderby, 58, had dinner at red lodge Steakhouse in Bury St Edmunds with Teresa Jones, 61.
Gary is a publisher in Diss, Suffolk. Teresa is a teacher and lives in Bury St Edmunds. Both have been previously married.
TERESA, 61, SAYS:
MY MUM urged me to apply for a blind date. When it was confirmed, I was so excited I booked an appointment with my hairdresser for a wash and blow-dry.
I was nervous when I arrived, but fortunately Gary was waiting at our table. I was a bit surprised to see he had ordered a bottle of wine and already had a drink in his hand! I wasn’t planning on having a drink as I was driving. I was also disappointed that he didn’t compliment me or say anything about how I looked.
My first impression of Gary was positive — he is tall, which I liked. I think he smarted a bit when he realised I’m three years older than he is. But in truth he looks older than me. I assumed he was in his 60s.
We didn’t flirt, but I was happy to chat and find out more about him.
As a teacher I work mainly with women and I don’t get the chance to meet men. I’m close to my children and see my two grandchildren regularly. I’ve got a chatty parrot called Peppy who keeps me company, too!
While I’m ever hopeful of meeting someone and feeling an immediate spark, I’m old enough to realise that chemistry can also come with time. The conversation was lively, but never got really personal. Gary likes to talk! he told me all about his job and his son. If I had to find fault it is that he’s quite full of himself.
The restaurant was lovely. It’s quirky with an African theme and I’ve been a few times before. The meal was delicious.
But during our dessert, Gary received a text. he had organised a lift home with friends who arrived early, and he was distracted about whether he should go to see them outside or ask them to wait.
I reassured him that I would be happy to finish my cheesecake on my own, but in the end he waited and we even had coffee. however Gary didn’t walk me to my car or introduce me to his friends, which I thought was quite rude. Perhaps it’s because he had polished off the whole bottle of wine — he even stumbled against a table, sending things flying.
Even so I suggested we exchange numbers. If I had read the date wrong and he was interested on a romantic level then I was prepared to see where things went.
But I wouldn’t want to stay in touch on a platonic level. I’ve got enough friends and I’m busy with work, family and my own hobbies. I don’t have time to see someone else on a casual basis. I’ve been married twice — first to my childhood sweetheart. We were together for 30 years but grew apart and divorced when I was 45. My second husband was completely different. Yet devastatingly it didn’t work out and we split up four years ago.
Since then I’ve found it difficult to trust men — but now, I feel ready to fall in love again. I have no regrets about the evening, and wouldn’t rule out another blind date.
Even though I don’t feel lonely, it would be the icing on the cake to find a kind, honest man. LIKED? Gary is a good conversationalist. REGRETS? I’d have liked a compliment about how I looked! COFFEE OR CAB? Cab.
Verdict: 6/10 GARY, 58, SAYS:
WHILE I don’t get nervous on a date, I was keen to make a good impression, so I turned up to the restaurant 15 minutes early to be sure I was there when Teresa arrived. I didn’t want her to be the first person at the table waiting on her own.
Straight away I noticed it wasn’t the kind of establishment I would normally go to on a first date — it had a full bar, but the restaurant was empty. The tables did fill up later though.
Although Teresa looked very nice, there is a three-year age gap between us. I would have preferred someone younger than me, and she isn’t the kind of person I’m normally attracted to. We did hit it off on a social level, and actually got along really well. There were no embarrassing pauses — we chatted non- stop throughout the three hours we were together.
I divorced 12 years ago and have been single ever since. I wanted to focus on spending time with my son as he grew from a child into a young man. he was always my priority at weekends and during holidays.
It means a lot to me that we are still close and enjoy spending time together, including watching football and motor racing. however, he is 19 and going to university soon, so I’m keen to find someone I can spend time with romantically.
Over the last year I have joined a number of dating sites and been out with a couple of women. I can completely understand why most women aren’t keen on dating sites, though. There are a lot of people on them who aren’t genuinely looking for dates, both men and women.
So it was nice to meet someone in person for a meal. I wasn’t driving, so I ordered a bottle of merlot which was quite pleasant and complimented the steak we both had as a main.
They had things like kangaroo meat on the menu — but I have to say I wasn’t tempted to try it! Unfortunately Teresa arrived by car so couldn’t join me in having a glass of wine.
I suspect if we’d both been able to drink, Teresa would have been able to relax a bit more.
The restaurant was out of some items and forgot other dishes in our order. We just laughed it off – it was something to bond over.
To finish the evening off we had a coffee together. Then I met my friends in the bar and made sure I saw Teresa out. We didn’t kiss though.
While there wasn’t any sexual chemistry between us I’d see her again as friend. Teresa is great company and we did exchange numbers. I’ve enjoyed the blind date experience and would definitely go on one again.
LIKED? Teresa is smart and great company.
REGRETS? I would have chosen a different restaurant.
COFFEE OR CAB? Coffee.
Verdict: 8/10
I’d prefer to meet someone a little younger