Why are so many women too terrified to give birth a SECOND TIME?

AFTeR a very challenging first birth four years ago that left me with ongoing physical problems, as well as severe enough emotional trauma to make me question whether I would ever want to be pregnant again, I am just two months away from having my second child.

That child, I’ve decided, will be delivered by Caesarean. It’s not a choice I’ve made lightly; I’ve never had an operation before, and honestly, the thought of one terrifies me. But not as much as giving birth ‘naturally’ again.

I am aware of the risks of surgery. But for me, there are also benefits that far outweigh them, including a much lower risk of worsening my prolapse (a collapse of the internal organs, and a physical condition I still find hard to type or say out loud, aged 36).

If things get worse for me in that respect, operations to correct the problem can be far more unpleasant than a C-section and take even longer to heal.

My reasons for wanting a C-section this time are also psychological after the trauma of my daughter’s birth, a 33-hour labour followed by a forceps delivery. I am almost ashamed to admit that I have cried during every single midwife, physio and consultant appointment I have had this time around.

I am, of course, aware of just how lucky I am to have become pregnant again easily and, so far, to have had an uncomplicated seven months. But reliving my first birth time and again, whether it’s through going over my medical notes or being poked or prodded internally, throws me every time.

Which is why I am deeply grateful that not only have I felt able to request the birth I feel is right for me, but that I have been listened to and supported by all the professionals I have seen since my very first appointment.

But do I, does every woman, have the right to choose the birth we want?

After all, as women, our bodies are designed to give birth. We have been doing it for millennia, and for the vast majority of that time without even the most basic pain relief.

Globally recognised research spearheaded by the World Health Organisation tells us that — if there are no complications — natural birth means quicker recovery times for the mother and a baby’s first breaths are easier.

With hugely improved hygiene and healthcare provisions, it’s also much safer than it has ever been and many women talk passionately about their almost euphoric experiences of hypno-birthing or water births and other pain-medication-free methods.

I am also very aware of the fact that each elective C-section costs the NHS an average £3,781, versus vaginal deliveries at £ 1,985 — although, of course, the cost of ‘natural’ deliveries can spiral the minute complications set in.

There are on average just under 700,000 live births in the UK a year, of which nearly 20 per cent are C- sections ( both elective and emergency).

However, I am also aware that there are a growing number of women like me who just cannot countenance giving birth ‘naturally’ a second time after what happened during our first labour.

We’re not ‘ too posh to push’ (a phrase I — and I’m sure many other women — resent), but scared. And even more than that, protective of our own bodies. Which may sound controversial and even selfish.

BUT

as women we also need to be able to raise our babies and often, having been through a deep trauma already, we know the only way to do that is by putting our own mental and physical health first.

Medics are all too quick to point out the risks of a Caesarean, but few talk about the damage inflicted by ‘assisted’ births — via forceps, ventouse or episiotomy, where the skin is cut to make way for the baby’s head. Yet statistics show these are increasingly the norm.

Virtually every professional I spoke to about this — midwife or doctor — noted that almost all their C- section requests come from women who have suffered previous birth trauma.

That raises the question of whether the fuss over a woman’s right to choose a Caesarean has been unnecessarily exaggerated. Because, while only anecdotal, it does suggest that the majority of women coming into birth the first time round do want to try a natural approach.

But, more worryingly, it also hints at a bigger problem — that, for far too many women, we’re getting birth so wrong that Csections are becoming preferable with their second baby, regardless of the risks of major surgery.

More than 90 per cent of women who have a vaginal birth suffer a tear or need an episiotomy, and up to half of all women who have children suffer some form of prolapse and may have long-term incontinence problems or need lifelong physio or expensive and complicated surgery to repair the damage.

The annual follow-up costs for women who have had the controversial mesh implants to repair their prolapses are a staggering £245 million a year alone. That does not include the costs of the operations or physiotherapy, for which there are no official figures.

The Birth Trauma Association estimates that as many as 200,000 women a year suffer from symptoms of post- traumatic stress related to their delivery, while mental health care related to the births in any given year costs the NHS £1.2 billion.

‘In my experience, a lot of people who request an elective Caesarean section see it as their only way to guarantee that they can’t have a repeat of what has often been an awful experience before,’ concedes Lawrence Impey, a consultant in Obstetrics and Fetal Medicine at Oxford’s John Radcliffe Hospital.

‘I think we should regard this as being as much our problem as that of women, and it is a problem we need to address.’

Milli Hill, founder of the Positive Birth Movement and author of the Positive Birth Book, tells me: ‘We’re simply not getting birth right. There are too many women having unnecessary interventions. The World Health Organisation states that 80 per cent of women should be able to give birth without intervention, but only around 40 per cent in the UK do.

‘So many births are becoming medicalised that we are losing

We’re not too posh to push, we’re too scared