Jokeagram

A WOMAN goes into the butcher’s shop just before closing. She says: ‘Thank heavens I’ve made it in time! Do you have any chickens left?’ The butcher opens the fridge door and takes out his one and only chicken, and plops it onto the scales. It weighs two-and-ahalf pounds. ‘Oh dear, it’s a bit on the small side really; do you have anything bigger?’ the woman inquires. The butcher returns the chicken to the fridge, takes it straight out again, and plops it onto the scales, only this time he craftily keeps one finger pressed down on the chicken. The scales show three-and-a-quarter pounds. ‘Wonderful!’ says the woman. ‘I’ll take them both, please.’ TWO blondes are on a shopping mission in a mall. As soon as they are finished, the women go out to their car, which happens to be an impressive, leather-upholstered convertible. When they get back to the car, they notice they have locked the keys inside, so they stand and mull it over for ten minutes. Finally, one has the idea of trying to open the car with a useful hanger from a coat she has just purchased. So the first blonde starts picking at the lock with the hanger. As she is doing this, Helen — the second blonde — looks up at the sky and suddenly becomes agitated. ‘Quick, Una, quick!’ she urges. ‘It’s gonna rain and we left the top down!’ Tony Crafter, Sevenoaks, Kent.