The secret sadness that haunts so many lives
Shocking news about kate Spade, whose accessories brought a cheerful Fifties vibe to Manhattan in the nineties. her quirky but functional and affordable line of handbags, clothes and accessories were beloved by her millions of fans.
Who could have imagined it would end like this, with the events surrounding her suicide becoming distressingly public for her family. The body, wrapped in a sheet as if it were a bit of furniture, rolled out onto the street on a trolley with the cameras on the pavements recording every moment. This is not unusual in new York, where the dignity of a coffin is clearly seen as superfluous. Then the apparent leaking of what should have been a private suicide note to the media.
in a statement, her husband Andy said: ‘kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years. She was actively seeking help . . . we were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this. it was a complete shock.’
We now know that the perfect world Spade created in her jewel-box stores — supplying the ideal clutch for a cocktail party, the perfect bag for the beach or a morale-boosting pair of heels for an important meeting — belied a panic beating behind the facade of perfection.
‘With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who would not be happy?’ This oscar Wilde quote was one of the sparkling aphorisms stamped in gold letters on the front of the bestselling notebooks that bore kate Spade’s name. A rather hollow sentiment, as it turned out.
And a gentle reminder to those who might be prone to vulnerable moments themselves, to particular feelings of hopelessness when everyone else seems so much more successful, brighter and contented. it might look as if the world and her sister are having a better time and a nicer life than you, that they are soaring while you are struggling, but often that happiness is an illusion.
A great number of people are always secretly struggling and you are not as alone or different as you might think. Life is not always what it seems, and sadness can lurk in the happiest of places. As kate’s brother-in-law, the actor David Spade said: ‘it’s a rough world out there. Try to hang on.’
it’s not something you might want to embroider on a napkin or a darling book cover, but it is true.