Ephraim Hardcastle

ONE of John Bercow’s reasons for not stepping down next week, as promised, is because he thinks testing times need a ‘tested Speaker’. He doesn’t believe anyone else would be knowledgeable enough to guide the House through Brexit turmoil. Has he forgotten his deputy, Sir Lindsay Hoyle, 61? The Bolton Wanderers supporter has guided the House through some turbulent times and when he deputised for the increasingly erratic and unpleasant Bercow at PMQs last month earned heartfelt applause from MPs. No one is indispensable – not even Squeaker John.

TORY MP Dominic Grieve and Blair mouthpiece Alastair Campbell, now accused of plotting to wreck Brexit, appear in Miles Goslett’s book about the mysterious death of Iraq weapons inspector David Kelly. He says Campbell became obsessed with unmasking Kelly as a source of a BBC report accusing the Government of ‘sexing up the case’ for invading Iraq. As Attorney General, Grieve carried out an inquiry into Kelly’s death and found there was no case to answer. He’s now chairman of the intelligence and security select committee.

BARBRA Streisand, 76, pictured, indignantly informs the Hollywood Reporter: ‘I am not a diva.’ News to UK hotel staff looking after her during last year’s UK visit when they had to provide ‘freshly cut turf’ so her beloved Coton de Tulear dog Samantha could poop on the balcony outside her room, and ‘bespoke wooden stairs’ to ensure the bitch could climb onto Streisand’s bed. Much exaggerated, surely.

APPEARING publicly with the Queen yesterday, Meghan – Princess Henry of Wales, if you please – wore a skirt that was suitably lined, to avoid embarrassing backlights, and weighted, to prevent one of sister-in-law Kate’s occasional Marilyn Monroe-style moments, ensuring her first outing with the monarch isn’t remembered for the wrong reasons.

PRINCESS Eugenie’s photo of her father leaving his Buckingham Palace apartment after his valet had trussed him up for his first Trooping the Colour ride causes a stir. She and sister Beatrice got snaps of him leaving, returning and dismounting ‘to keep their mother updated, about this important event’, says my source. Fergie is persona non grata on the Buck Pal balcony.

RESPONDING to actor Robert De Niro’s ‘F*** Trump! cry at the Tony Awards, the US President says the star is ‘a very low IQ individual (who) has received too many shots (punches) to the head by real boxers in movies – I truly believe he may be punch-drunk’. He was referring to De Niro’s Oscar-winning 1980 role as boxing champ Jake La Motta in Raging Bull, for which he had to spar with real boxers.

DAD’S Army star John Laurie, who died in 1980 aged 83, appears as his character, Private Frazer, in the new set of Royal Mail stamps. Best known for his ‘We’re doomed!’ catchphrase, dour Laurie would not have been impressed. He once reflected: ‘I’ve worked at the Old Vic, played Hamlet, made 100 films, and had to wait until I was 73 to be famous in this c***!’