Out of the mouths of babes

MY GRANDCHILDREN — Oliver, six and Lily, eight — were looking at our 1959 wedding photos. Oliver turned to his sister and said:

One-line Philosophers

APPARENTLY, anger management classes are all the rage. Richard Myers, London NW4. A RELIABLE material witness should never be suede. Vincent Hefter, Richmond, Surrey. ‘Cor, Nan and Grandad had black hair and white teeth on their wedding day; now they’ve black teeth and white hair.’ Mrs B. Carroll, Reading, Berks.

Jokes

I READ about bicarbonate of soda being a good old wives’ cure for arthritis, so I have been trying a spoonful in water each night. I’m not sure about the arthritis, but I’m definitely rising more easily. Jim Carrigan, Oldham, Lancs.

Wordy Wise

HOMEWARD BOND — Simon and Garfunkel-ish song played over the closing credits of 007’s valedictory mission. Mark Wraith, Newark, Notts. VOUCH POTATO — Yeah, it’s definitely a King Edward. John Hyde, Chellaston, Derbys.

THE ROSE AND CROON — It used to be a nice, quiet English pub until a karaoke machine turned it into a blooming noise of half-drunks trying to sound like Frank Sinatra. M. Bligh, Sittingbourne, Kent. CHAPITALIST — fellow investor. Mrs S. Dugard, Witney, Oxon.

Anagram

Video Assistant = It is voted an ass Julian Lofts, Auckland, New Zealand.