BEL MOONEY

I MARRIED at 35, she was 25. We began a successful business and loved each other. But it began to change when our first son was born. She felt he had taken her place in my affections. The arrival of our second was worse. She always treated this son appallingly. He lives abroad with his family and can never forgive her.

We carried on with the business and found our dream home. But in 1976 she fell madly in love with a married man — and our marriage was over. The attraction was not reciprocated at all but she was obsessed — and blamed me and the children for ruining her life.

All she wanted to do was to sell everything we had so that she could buy something for the man and his kids. We three could do as we wanted as long as we kept out of her way. Our eldest was ten, the youngest eight. I was 52.

I was doing her work as well as being a single parent. She joined a mid-life singles group and began to play the field. Then money began to go from the business. In the end she had effectively embezzled the cash to force the company into bankruptcy to get rid of me. Obviously I took my eye off the ball and should have been more ruthless, but I am not like that.

My doctor signed me off with a nervous breakdown for two years and I raised the boys on benefits. Then she was arrested for an insurance fraud — she got nine months for stealing at least £70,000.

In 1996 we came to a divorce settlement. By then she was out of prison and with a new boyfriend in the South of France. She was awash with cash — but from where? And she actually got away with no maintenance of her own children. And half the house.

The boys never forgave her. Now I am 82, in poor health and with little money. She has a property empire and a villa on the Riviera. It turns out she lied about her assets. Had they been declared I’d have got the house. As it is, I now live in rented accommodation and she flaunts her wealth.

I insisted on keeping things civil for the sake of the children and grandchildren, and have not discussed this with them.

At my age, do I rake over old coals or just let it go? If she would just come and apologise and then offer, say £500 a month, which she could easily afford, I’d say thank you and let it rest . But despite still protesting her undying love, she laughs at me.

I need the cash to augment my State pension but I don’t want any more hassle. I certainly will not beg. Any thoughts?

Be wise, drink free, and in so short a space Do not protracted hopes of life embrace. Whilst we are talking, envious time does slide; This day’ s thine own, the next maybe deny’ d. Horace (Roman poet 65BC – 8BC)