Dear Marie
I am a married woman with one child of 15 months and expecting another. I live in the most appalling dread of having a large family, as I am far from strong.
I have no mother living and am ignorant of birth control. It is not that I am cowardly of childbirth, but I wish my children a good education and a good start in life.
I would not mind three or four children, with reasonable intervals between them.
I AM a young mother of two beautiful children. I had a terrible time for both. The Dr told me I wasn’t to have any more. Could you please give me some advice on how to prevent any more coming.
I have been asked by a friend to obtain reliable information for her on the following subject.
She is thinking of being married — to a man much younger than herself. She is 61 and of course the monthly periods have stopped some time ago.
She concludes there is absolutely no chance of motherhood for her.
Is this so? I enclose stamped and addressed envelope and will be pleased to pay the fee for advice. THIS evening I have read your book, married Love, and I cannot go to bed without writing to thank you for the immense hope for the future of my married life which it has given me.
all that you say therein confirms my experience gained during nearly six years of married life.
We had a child in 1913 who is now a perfect girl of extraordinary vitality, the result of an extraordinary fit of passion which overcame us on getting into our first home after three months of digs.
at the time, we did not think it was complete as we were not in bed and almost fully dressed. I think the thought of a youngster was a cause of this feeling in my wife. AS you refer in your important book, married Love, to the question of positions, I think that as one who has had more than 20 years of unusually happy married life I may be allowed a few words to supplement what you have written, and you will use your own judgment as to making any use of them in view of the reticence which is desirable on this delicate subject.
I don’t think the experience of the lady who told you she felt almost suffocated each time can be exceptional. I myself know of an unusually lovely young wife saying she had wished her husband was not so heavy.
Yet it is shocking to think of her delicate body being strained and pinned down under a heavy man, and it is both foolish and needless.
I AM writing to know if you would give me some advice, as I am only 27 and have five children, the oldest nine years and the youngest 18 months. My husband is always out of work and it is a continual worry from one month to the other, as I don’t want to have more children. Hoping to have an early reply.
In what you say about coition during pregnancy, is your reference to the example of animals quite sufficient as it stands?
The male animal [resorts] freely to other females; may not your words be perverted as pointing men in that direction?
If the husband stands by the bedside and the wife lies across it, he may get a moderate coalition with exciting her.
Of course, he will use the most extreme tenderness and consideration for her, and not go on too long. WILL you be kind enough to tell me where I can obtain the appliances mentioned in your book on birth control.
I haven’t the courage to go into a shop. I may say the matron told me to go to the Women’s hospital, but as she [did] not tell me what [to ask for], I did not go.
I DON’T think you say anything about the narrow separate beds which have been introduced in England from continental countries. I don’t see how they can allow comfortable positions, but we have never used them.
I have just read with interest and much instruction your book, married Love. To my mind it would make an ideal gift to any newly married couple and would save many heartburns. I wish that I had had a copy years ago.
many of your points I have discovered myself after ten years of married life.
We have one fine little baby girl. Three children were born to us before, but this is the first to live.
She is 18 months old. Since her birth, I have had no actual connections with my wife, as I feel I could not be her lover to give her all the pain again she has had with the three children that never lived.
She, too, has no further desire for children. We love the joy, however, of married life. I give to my dear wife the pleasure that I have.
I play with her with my fingers while she holds my person. after reading your book, however, I feel that we are doing wrong and that we should suffer later, and I am at a loss as to my duty.
I am not putting my name to this letter, but perhaps you will deal with the matter in the next book you write on the subject. Don’t you think it rather ‘dirty’ that a husband should use his wife, or the wife should commit herself to be used, except for the distinct purpose of pregnancy?
To put it more to the point, does it not indicate a filthy state of mind that a man should indulge his crave or a woman her desire for what is pure and simple fornication? (even if they are married — unless conception is the aim of the sexual connection.)
nothing more surely debases the mind than this form of legalised vice. Why not recommend the only clean way, self denial?
heaps do it, and are never a penny the worse for it morally, and in fact develop moral love. Kindly touch on it. Can you send me a prescription which would help to put me right again. no one knows I am writing to you, except my husband, and he has not read this letter.
I AM writing to you for your kind advice, as I am very worried. The man I am marrying this year had an accident a few weeks ago and while I was helping to remove his bloodstained and torn clothes, I couldn’t help but see that his sex organs were very large, and the thought of marital relations has worried me since I myself am small in that respect. Could you advise me in any way, or suggest anything to help me out. I would be grateful if you would tell me plainly, as I’ve no mother or sister to ask about this matter, and I don’t like to ask friends, or they may think I’m too fast.
GO back to your own country [Stopes was born in edinburgh, but lived in england all her life, apart from studying in Germany] and preach your dirty methods there.
Decent english people are disgusted at your filthy suggestions in married Love.
Sexual gratification is not the only thing that makes life worth living as you seem to think.
at any rate, yours is a paying game, and naturally that is what matters most to you.