Westminster Noticeboard . . .

A 29 ft BLIMP depicting the London Mayor is to fly over the capital today in retaliation for the Donald Trump balloon protest he allowed. Crikey, if it was truly to represent that over-inflated political shrimp Sadiq Khan, it should be 29 in tall.

PeRHaPS the upper ranks of the Tories should fear ‘infiltration’ of the party by former UKIP members, given that three- quarters of the Cabinet are Remainers and those former Conservative members returning to the fold left only because the party had been sold down the river by europhiles like Chancellor Hammond.

as one observer wrote, UKIP members ‘didn’t abandon the party, the party abandoned them’.

GIVEN Theresa May’s two bouts of Maybot dancing in Africa, tickets for the Conservative Party Conference Ball will surely sell like hot cakes .