Green soup that helped mel ose half a stone
I’VE SPENT a lifetime trying not to be fat. I made my first visit to a health farm aged 16. My mother, very much of the Harvey nichols tendency, thought it might be an excellent way for me to recover from the trauma of taking my O-levels. (We were new money).
nowadays, Champneys at Tring, Hertfordshire, is a glitzy retreat. In the Sixties, it was mostly a popular choice for the sick and dying. To a lively teenager it seemed like a care home.
Patients were put on a punishing three-week fast of lemon and hot water. The treatments included osteopathy, cold and hot baths and massage. It was the brainchild of the Champneys’ founder Stanley Lief who, as an impoverished young man in Russia with a heart condition, had been promised a short life. Yet with a self-imposed regime of diet and exercise he had completely recovered.
My mother, never one for half measures, went to Champneys four times a year. Unsurprisingly, I worked out that being in my bleak boarding school was preferable to starving. On no account would I fast again.
Since then, however, I’ve tested the temperature at an embarrassing variety of wellness retreats and tried just about every fad diet. All have failed.
It was my oldest friend Pam who came up with
‘The therapist bangs the bowls for an hour to induce mental clarity, but I’m quite happy feeling foggy’ ANNE ROBINSON
the solution. since teenagers, she and I have been trying to lose a stone by 6pm.
Pam urged me to try a place in germany. There was nothing about the name, Buchinger Wilhelmi, or the destination, Uberlingen, that suggested it was flash or plush.
The clinic on Lake Constance was founded in the early 1900’s after a german doctor otto Buchinger became seriously ill with rheumatic pain. He miraculously recovered by fasting and exercising. Yep, the same kind of cure as stanley Lief.
Five years ago, I was the best part of a stone overweight, so despite my initial scepticism about dangerous levels of starvation, I went to Buchinger. I’ve now returned six times. Fasting means starting the day with herb tea and a spoonful of honey, followed by a bowl of thin vegetable broth at midday and in the evening.
an enema, flowing water in a tube where you’d expect, is available every other day. Plus, a liver press; being wrapped for an hour in a blanket with a hot water bottle in the folds, to relax you.
Buchinger can sound like an overpriced draconian boot. It isn’t. after a few days you have a magical feeling of well-being. on my first visit I was puzzled as to why anyone would want to join the daily 6am, four-mile hike, trudging through a forest for two hours on an empty stomach when they could stay in bed feeling sorry for themselves.
Yet, bafflingly on day three of that stay and no longer feeling as hungry, I set my alarm clock and joined the early morning walkers. after a few more days, I had enough puff to manage not only the hike, but also 20 or 30 lengths in the heated outside pool, a run late afternoon and a session with one of the fitness trainers.
The hunger all but vanished. By the end of my stay I was minus almost a stone and there was a spring in my step.
Earlier this year I gave the Buchinger Clinic in Marbella a try. I was recovering from a broken ankle and had done very little exercise. I arrived after a much- delayed flight from London, feeling tired and unreasonable. Thanks to falling over my puppy, my weigh-in showed I was 9st 6lb. Half a stone more than normal. grumpily, I returned to my room for herb tea and a small helping of toast, the last solid food for some time. Lunch and supper would be broth.
The next morning, wandering the corridors, I found half an apple on a tray further down the corridor. I ate it. From experience, I know this level of hunger will pass. But the start is always tough.
By day four I’d recovered enough to join the daily beach run — a choice of 30 or 45 minutes running or walking. I went for a bit of both. Probably three miles in all.
Then, colonic irrigation with a doctor. How could this be a career choice? Water via a tube up the length of my colon for 45 minutes to improve digestion. Then eight minutes in the bathroom and the water flushes out. not fun. The next day a craniosacral session; the neck is gently cradled for 40 minutes. The therapist says my body is out of alignment. I want to say: ‘For goodness sake, I’m 73.’
Later, a Tibetan Bowl sound Massage. I lie on a large mattress. Bowls are placed around me and the therapist bangs them gently for nearly an hour. The vibrations are intended to induce mental clarity. I’m quite happy feeling foggy. The joy of Buchinger is that as the days pass my worry list reduces.
By day five I’m feeling sociable. There’s a mix of guests; a saudi Princess (very skinny), a husband and wife in real estate from Brazil (quite fat), a widowed architect from Paris on his eighth visit (terrific muscles and sexy) plus a young London city slicker (cute backside, very dull).
Why do European men have a magic British men lack? a jolly, fiftysomething, podgy spaniard has a dressing gown with ‘Champion Buchinger’ on the back. How had he achieved this glittering accolade? ‘I’ve been here more than 50 times,’ he explains, as he squeezes my arm.
My penultimate day, I have an eyelash tint in preparation for the real world and finish a book on Brexit. Yes, I’m that chilled. at my weigh-in at 7am the next morning, the scales show I’m minus nearly seven pounds. Back to my normal dress size, yippee!
Is it all worth it? as my late mother would probably say: What took you so long?
See buchinger-wilhelmi.com. A week costs from ¤2,582 (£2,308) per person in a double room.