Magnetic and lustful, Boris swept in last
ALL the zing was not in the Commons Chamber, where Chancellor Philip Hammond was droning away with the latest Project Fear misery, but on the committee corridor. Matador of the moment Boris Johnson arrived at an event where Brexiteers were hearing upbeat predictions about the economic impact of any ‘no deal’ exit from the EU.
‘From Project Fear to Project Prosperity’ said a windy logo. Project Polyanna, possibly. But this continued jauntiness by the Brexiteers, which drives Remainers round the twist, is as much political as scientific. By continuing to tug at Madam Glumbucket, they make it harder for her to drift further to Brussels.
Boris arrived late. Often does. Bad timekeeping or a desire to sweep in last, a Sicilian prince entering a ball? I have finally read Giuseppe di Lampedusa’s novel, The Leopard, and the prince in that great story – magnetic and lustful – has similarities with our blond hero.
The meeting was chaired by Jacob ReesMogg who praised David Davis and Boris for quitting the Cabinet after Mrs May ambushed them at Chequers. Applause. Some attendees clutched their brows. Boredom at the economics lecture? Or shielding their eyes from the room’s alarmingly swirly green wallpaper?
Boris intervened to say he agreed with beancounter Patrick Minford that Chequers would leave us ‘a vassal state’ to Brussels. The meeting was firmly opposed to Chequers but Mr Rees-Mogg averred it would be possible to vote against Chequers yet still support Mrs May in a confidence vote. This debate was about policy, not personalities.
The heavy media presence, there almost entirely for boisterous Boris, suggests that may not be entirely the case.
Come the meeting’s end, he was pursued by a posse of scribes and broadcasters into the committee corridor (it is the length of a rural aerodrome). First he turned left, then right, then darted into a siding, then out again. News hounds all this time yapped ‘do you have full confidence in Mrs May?’ and ‘is this a leadership bid?’. Shades of a rolling maul under the Twickenham goalposts.
Boris insisted the meeting had ‘absolutely nothing’ to do with leadership plotting. It was about trying to wrench the May regime away from a stinky deal that could ‘humiliate’ Britain.
Things in the Commons were duller but not without incident, Mr Hammond announcing that Bank of England governor Mark Carney would now stay to early 2020. Mr Hammond thought Mr Carney would bring stability ‘to what could be quite a turbulent period for our economy’. This elicited a cry of ‘shame!’. It was not clear if the heckler was angry about smoothiechops Remainer Carney being given more time, or about Mr Hammond’s habitual pessimism.
SHADOW Chancellor John McDonnell had a chance to clarify Labour thinking on Brexit. ‘Let me put this to the Chancellor,’ he began, with tremendous self-importance.
Then it started to go wrong. ‘Can we both try to get the message across to the Prime Minister, who continues to insist that no deal is better than...’ Doubt nibbled at Mr McDonnell’s sweetbreads. He paused. ‘No
deal is better than...’ he said. Another pause. Outer calm, inner meltdown. He continued: ‘ No, a bad deal. No deal. To insist. That a bad deal is better. Than no deal.’
Labour frontbencher Jonathan Reynolds, who is perhaps twice as bright as Mr McDonnell, gave the smile of a parent whose child has just dried at the school poetry recital.
For the record, Mrs May says no deal would be better than a bad deal. Even though she probably believes the opposite. Then Dennis Skinner (Lab, Bolsover) claimed Mr Hammond had boasted he had ‘money to burn’. So why was he still closing libraries? Mr Hammond, irked, said Mr Skinner should have ‘a hearing test’.
Much clucking from Labour. Mr McDonnell demanded an apology for this allegedly grievous insult to the ancient ( and maybe slightly cloth- eared) Skinner.
Not for the first time this week, the outrage at a politician’s perfectly legitimate, lively language was bogus.