10 STEPS TO INTIMACY

LEARN to communicate without anger, blame, or defensiveness. Learn to see the situation from your partner’s perspective.

LEARN to accept and love one another for who you are now, not who you might have been or would prefer the other person to be.

DON’T stick your head in the sand when you know problems exist. Face the truth — cheating or lying or any other deception has to be confronted head-on when it happens. Things don’t get better on their own; time doesn’t fix anything. It only makes the burden of lying heavier. You must do the work to reap the benefits.

DON’T treat your spouse with disdain; you’ve spent too many years together to end up in a cold war.

REDEFINE your values and what the relationship means to you.

DON’T act as though everything is perfect just to save face.

LAUGH together and stop criticising. DON’T be submissive. It only serves to create resentment. SPEND time together pleasing each other. Watch how fast you start feeling happier and how quickly your partner starts noticing you and treating you well. FOCUS honestly on how you behave in the marriage, without ifs, buts, or maybes.