The lonely male readers who opened their hearts

AFTER Bel Mooney wrote about how men, too, suffer when a marriage is lacking in intimacy, we were overwhelmed with responses. Here are your views, with identities concealed, on what keeps a relationship strong . . .

AS a 48-year-old man who has been married for 22 years, I can say this stereotyping that women need emotion and men need sex is complete rubbish.

Men are a lot more sensitive than the so-called experts say.

Personally I crave love from my wife more than anything else. The issue is that a lot of men find it hard to talk about their feelings, and use sex as a way to show that they care and love their wives.

Some wives see this as ‘all my husband wants is sex’. Couples need to talk about their feeling for each other.

A relationship can never just be one sided — you need to talk to understand each other.

I LEARNT as I got older that it isn’t about quantity, but quality, when it comes to sex.

You don’t have sex, you make love to each other.

An older woman needs more than just sex . . . she wants love and affection, and is due respect. Keep her happy, and life at home is a lot easier. Just ask my wife!

WOMeN just don’t understand that for men, sex IS communication.

Sex isn’t just physical, it’s the expression of love a man has.

When men have wives who don’t want sex, then it’s the same as a woman having a man who ignores them and treats them coldly.

HAVING been married for 35 years, it’s sad to see any couple break up and I often wonder why this happens.

I wonder if lust and sex has been the only thing on too many people’s minds when they form an initial relationship.

If it’s all you have in common then I suppose its inevitable the relationship won’t last.

Too many people are either not tolerant enough, lack willpower or simply don’t have the commitment to endure all the ups and downs that you experience in a close relationship.

I’m not having a go at those who choose not to get married but this could be one of the reasons why so many are Heartfelt: Bel’s article on Wanderlust from last week turning away from actually getting married — because they know from the outset that they are unable to unconditionally commit to the marriage vows.

TO Be frank, since I got married the sex has been pretty thin.

Still, we love each other, have lots of affection and make each other laugh.

Would I like fantastic sex, yes I would, but I count my blessings each and every day.

MY WIFE and I fell out badly but stayed together for a variety of reasons: children, property and so on.

We didn’t have sex for 20 years and I thought I was impotent.

Then at 64 I met a truly gorgeous woman of 40, a divorcee. We started a relationship and guess what . . . I couldn’t get enough sex.

I started divorce proceedings and went to live with the woman. After two years, I sensed she was getting bored with me. I realised how much I loved my wife and called off the divorce.

My wife, to my amazement, had me back. We are closer now than ever — and we sometimes have sex. Love overrides everything.

I ALWAYS wanted affection, but I found if I showed any sign of affection it was taken for granted that affection meant sex.

My ex couldn’t seem to see that you can want affection without it always having to be turned into sex.

I THINK love is a lost art in the UK. The Hollywood nonsense of ‘The One’ and eroticism has drowned out affection, companionship and unconditional support and perseverance.