You don’t have to punish yourself

LEARN the difference between healthy self-improvement — with achievable goals that enhance self-esteem — and perfectionism, which is driven by a fear of failure. Challenge your thoughts as they come to you and decide into which category they fall.

USE the ‘GROW’ model to assess your ambitions. Write down a Goal, the current Reality, your Options to achieve the goal and the Way forward you perceive. If you recognise a goal as positive and achievable, go for it — but discard anything that might cause you undue anxiety, particularly if it isn’t important in the bigger scheme of things.

CELEBRATE your successes for yourself, not others. Recognise when you have achieved something worthwhile that has made you feel better about

yourself — and not just for a moment or two.

LAUGHTER and a little selfdeprecation can be a big help. Perfectionists take themselves very seriously and spend time and energy trying to achieve the impossible. Learning to laugh at our own errors increases self-awareness and self-esteem. So have a laugh!

REMEMBER to smell the roses. The little moments in our lives contribute the most to our happiness. It can be as simple as relishing a compliment from a stranger, sitting on a park bench in the sun, or even the scent of some beautiful flowers. Simple moments that add to our overall wellbeing and have nothing to do with the way anyone else lives their lives are most likely to enrich ours.