Turning sons into loving husbands ... and giving daughters self-esteem

PARENTS often believe bringing up boys is easier because they are ‘simpler’ than girls. I’m not sure that’s correct — but it’s a cultural stereotype we live with.

It is true boys are less likely to share their thoughts and emotions with their parents. Mum is to be idolised and Dad is for activities.

But they are always learning from your behaviour.

If Dad treats Mum poorly, they will either defend her and turn on him, or emulate his actions with the women in their own lives as they become adults.

However, if the young boy sees his father and mother in a loving relationship, his sisters treated with respect and love, and has ground rules established early on (by the time they are five or six years old), he is far more likely to become a kind and loving husband in the future.

All that men need to achieve this goal are the right parenting and role models.

IN OUR sexualised culture, raising a girl involves toeing a fine line between providing boundaries and giving her room to find her identity.

In my practice, I hear from parents going to such extremes as banning ‘sexy’ clothes and controlling access to books and the internet.

But we have to remember that young girls don’t always fully understand the implications of wearing a short skirt or a revealing top. They’re just following fashion. As parents, we have to learn to help our girls — leading by example, reining them in and guiding them to smart choices — without limitations or harsh bans.

In my experience, parents who rigidly set limits without communicating exactly why they disapprove of an outfit or an action often send their kids spinning into outright rebellion.

It’s important to talk to your daughter, even if it’s just for ten minutes a day.

Honesty and kindness, listening and setting fair boundaries lead to outstanding outcomes.