Now that’s what I call the EIGHTIES!

All the hits you loved (and loathed) are back Here’s how to do it better second time around

The eighties are back! Yes, really! As in quarterback shoulders, Lurex mini- dresses, pink kitten heels and turquoise leopard-print.

I’m guessing you don’t know quite how to react to this news. After all, you were there the first time around. And you no doubt remember most of it fondly — the big hair, the padded shoulders, the puffball skirts and pearls and bows and ruffles and white heels (Gah! remember that tartan jacket with the honey Monster shoulders? The one-shoulder ruched velvet mini-dress?). But let’s face it, the eighties — the real eighties — were thirtysomething years ago.

And we were thirtysomething years younger. We were the age when lacy tights and a working-girl skirt-suit looked cute, whereas now we’d look quite the opposite — like women who should know better who’ve decided to dress up as their twentysomething selves.

The reasons you are distinctly conflicted at the prospect of letting the eighties back into your wardrobe are because a) you have no desire to get back into a power suit; b) you don’t have the legs for a miniature LBD; and c) you don’t want to look like you didn’t get the memo: You had Your Chance Now Step Aside.

Well, panic not. The answer is that you don’t have to get back to the eighties as they were. This autumn revival is a 21st- century re- envisioning of the Dynasty decade and in the mix are some fantastically wearable clothes.

It’s all about which ones you pick and whether you want to go the full fan- oven eighties (you don’t) or opt for the best trends distilled into a few easy pieces that will give you a smart, new edge. And yes. Yes, you do.

We’re not suggesting investing in a Marc Jacobs-scale, oversized honey Monster jacket, but a blazer with shoulders padded just enough to make your hips look slimmer.

We’re not advocating rushing out to buy a velvet hairband and pearls, but some baroque pearl drop earrings (anyone remember those Monty Don ones with the grosgrain bows? Yes, that Monty Don — he was big in costume jewellery before Gardeners’ World) could be just the ticket for kicking your Little Black Dress firmly into 2018.

It’s true that the LBDs on the Saint Laurent catwalk were very little indeed ( roughly jacket length), but there will be a ton of more modest variations in flattering coloured velvets on the high Street come the party season.

If you steer past the skimpy Lurex, the white stilettos and the leather elbow gloves, the eighties were about strong jewel colours (good for the midlife woman), power tailoring (ditto), bold jewellery (easy), glamorous hair and make-up (always good) and fun.

And, if we want to stay in the fashion loop, we can’t afford to ignore it. When Balenciaga is designing shocking pink scrunchies (remember scrunchies?), you know there is no hiding from it.

So, here’s how to get on board the eighties revival without looking like you’ve been rifling through the attic. We’ll leave the big hair to the kids ( see Kaia Gerber at Valentino). There’s plenty more for us . . .