Ephraim Hardcastle

ERIC Idle’s autobiography, Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life, describes a dinner attended by Prince Charles at Billy Connolly’s Scottish retreat near Balmoral. The heir to the throne engaged in a ‘heated conversation’ about whether Queen Victoria had actually slept with her Scottish servant John Brown. Connolly, who played Brown in the film Mrs Brown, thought he had. Dame Judi Dench, who portrayed Victoria, declared: ‘I’m sure they did.’ Idle recalls that Charles ‘insisted the answer was No’, adding: ‘She was his great-great-great grandmother!’ WHO will notice if the Royal National Theatre drops its regal epithet, as its director Rufus Norris, 53, suggests? It mostly avoids using it now. Announcing that it may drop ‘Royal’ sounds like virtue-signalling tosh. It was awarded in 1988 to honour Sir Peter Hall’s retirement as director, and his transformation of a ramshackle organisation based at the Old Vic into a slick operation with a purposebuilt home on the South Bank. THE Queen would have happily remained at her first marital home as monarch, Clarence House. So, preferring Windsor now, she won’t miss Buckingham Palace when she moves out for refurbishment to proceed. ‘The unloved edifice at the end of The Mall is likely to end up a moneyspinning museum of monarchy open to the public,’ says my source. FEMINIST academic Camille Paglia, referencing MeToo and citing singer Ariana Grande’s vulgar display of ‘sleeveless mini-dress and bared thighs’ at Aretha Franklin’s funeral, pictured, advises: ‘ If women want respect in society, they must do their part to raise their own value. Stop throwing it away on empty display.’ Discuss! DIRECTOR Mike Newell, 76, discussing Ralph Fiennes as noseless Voldemort in the Harry Potter movies, says: ‘We had a lot of to-ing and fro-ing about his nose. I was pro-nose and almost everybody else, I subsequently discovered, including Ralph himself, was anti-nose. So I was happy to lose it.’ The Nos had it! DAVID Hockney, OM, who has just had his stained-glass window to honour the Queen unveiled in Westminster, muses about the monarch’s ‘absolutely amazing skin’ in a new BBC1 documentary. Interviewer Alan Yentob – sounding as if he’s angling for an honour himself – asks: ‘You have met her, haven’t you? She is quite a witty, charming person.’ REFLECTING on his 30-plus years hosting Radio 4’s Any Questions?, Jonathan Dimbleby, 74, points out in Radio Times: ‘When I first started on the programme in 1987 it was inconceivable that a bottle of wine wouldn’t be consumed and shared before we went on air. Maybe more. Now drink is very rare indeed.’ Is that why it’s now so dull?