Dutch king gushed about the EU ... to barely 40 of our MPs
PLENTY of pro-EU peers but awkwardly few MPs turned out to hear the king of Holland address our houses of parliament. King Willem-Alexander and his Argentine queen are making a two-day state visit. Such occasions normally attract plenty of MPs but yesterday there were barely 40 in the room. The chairs laid out for them had to be filled with cannon fodder from the margins, so as to avoid great gaps.
‘Leve de koning,’ said Lord Fowler, Speaker of the Lords. That’s Dutch for ‘long live the king’. Everyone in the Palace of Westminster’s royal gallery – a gilt- edged parlour the size of a municipal sports centre – was meant to respond ‘hurrah! hurrah! hurrah!’ And why not? The Dutch are stolid allies and we do plenty of trade with them. But the audience did not excel itself with its unison of acclaim. Those hurrahs were a bit of a rhubarb. Was that because many folk were still clambering to their feet (following the king, who, modest chap, had stood for his own salute)? Or was it because Willem-Alexander had pushed diplomatic niceties and given a coded attack on Brexit?
Before this visit he made sniffy comments about Brexit. Yesterday he gushed about the EU’s ‘achievements’ and said ‘it truly saddens us to see a close partner leave’. He hurriedly added: ‘But of course we fully respect your country’s choice.’ Sure thing, king. Lord Hannay, a prominent Remainer, had listened to his speech with eyes closed. Asleep? Or listening with rapture, like a Royal Festival Hall-goer savouring a Schoenberg piano concerto? Let us give the pot-bellied old spaniel the benefit of the doubt and incline to the latter. MARGARET Thatcher’s foreign-affairs flunkey, Lord Powell, was in attendance, as were the likes of ex- cabinet secretary Lord Armstrong, one-time Liberal party leader Lord Steel, beer millionaire Lord Bilimoria and ex-copper Lord Hogan-Howe, all neck and shoulders. Even the peers did not fill their reserved seats. They, too, had to be filled from the back. Where was everyone?
Theresa May just made it – glided in with seconds to spare, eliciting not even a whisper of interest – as did MPs Hilary Benn, Scots Nat leader Ian Blackford and Lib Dem leader Sir Vince Cable. Sight of the day was arch-Remainer Dominic grieve and firm Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg shimmering in simultaneously – they could almost be brothers – and sitting down like two bookends. Jacob had five o’clock shadow. A new razor for Christmas might be an idea.
Commons Speaker Bercow gave another of his appalling speeches of welcome. greasier than moussaka. Bercow must be the last public speaker in Britain seriously to use the phrase ‘if I may make so bold’. Fowler was bliss to watch during all this. He rubbed one eye and with the other one, which was bulging slightly, peered as far in the direction of Berkshire as he could. Queen Maxima, retro chic, perched in her seat with Jackie Kennedy elegance. The king looked a bit like a younger version of actor Martin Jarvis.
He spoke in fluent English in a pleasant voice. ‘It’s a privilege to address you here, at the heart of British democracy,’ he began. Hmmn. That’s open to debate just at present. The heart of the Parliamentary elite might be more accurate. After getting his anti-Brexit signals off his royal chest, he conceded that our departure from the EU ‘does not mean farewell – our close, historic relationship will continue, albeit on a different footing’. Carry on, chaps.
Lord Fowler wrapped up the event, working in a little dig of his own by suggesting that tussles between the Crown and Parliament in the time of Dutch-born William III (ie William of Orange) were the 17th century’s equivalent of our ‘meaningful vote’ controversy in the Commons. A murmur of pleasure in the room. Lord Fowler also noted that WillemAlexander was 889th in line to the British throne, although Meghan and Harry’s baby would push him down to number 890.