Cousin calls Ed a wet flannel

caRRoT-ToPPed crooner ed Sheeran has made his fortune churning out tear-inducing songs for the masses, but one listener certainly appears to be unimpressed.

Jethro Sheeran, a rapper who goes by the name of alonestar, has launched an astonishing attack on his cousin by describing ed, 27, as a ‘wet flannel’, while claiming that ed stole his lyrics.

‘He uses my lyrics, but it’s not about the money, it’s about the credit,’ Bristolian Jethro, 43, rages. ‘I’m no fan of his music. The thing is, when he does my lyrics it’s the best part of his show — but he hasn’t done them now for two years after I asked for credit.’

ed has won four Grammy awards, but Jethro tells me he’s catching up after landing no.1 on the american Billboard reggae album charts with an appearance on compilation Tropical House cruises to Jamaica.

Last year, Jethro was the subject of a police probe after he threatened a local magazine which, in a review, described him as ‘an itch that you just can’t scratch off’.

satIRICaL snapper alison Jackson is searching for Duke and Duchess of sussex lookalikes for her new series of spoofs on celebrities doing things in private. ‘I’m after a Harry and Meghan for my next project,’ she tells me. Jackson already has three Meghans on her books — but apparently, they’re tired of being so much in demand. ‘that’s the problem with lookalikes,’ adds Jackson. ‘they really don’t want to be in someone else’s character all the time. It’s quite damaging psychologically.’