Musketeers, we’ve drawn a droplet of shame from Mr Squeaker
NOT until 6pm – cocktail hour – did the Commons finally begin its main debate on MPs’ misbehaviour: the bullying, the foot-stamping and all that splenetic nastiness detailed by Dame Laura Cox’s recent report. How convenient. The late start meant the debate was sharply curtailed and attracted few MPs. There were barely ten on the Labour benches and maybe twice that number on the Tory side.
Speaker Bercow, who in commercial wrestling might be labelled The Batey Bawler, for once recused himself from the chair for this debate. In previous discussions about bullying he remained on his throne, glowering, laughing, languidly filing his fingernails.
His absence yesterday may be accounted progress. Musketeers, we have drawn a droplet of shame. Mind you, the Squeaker was in situ earlier when he indulged all manner of waffle which had the (my dears, quite unintended) effect of crunching time for the bullying discussion.
Commons Leader Andrea Leadsom opened the debate.
She’s the one Bercow screamed at for being a ‘stupid woman’, which she most certainly is not. Mrs Leadsom noted that Dame Laura’s report deplored top figures in the Commons (ie Bercow). Its demands for better behaviour ‘apply to everyone without exception’, she said sweetly.
Labour’s account was opened by Walsall South’s Valerie Vaz. Hmmmn. Pukka Val is sister of Keith Vaz (Lab, Leicester E), who has been accused of bullying behaviour. The Left-leaning New Statesman magazine has had things to say about Miss Vaz’s own behaviour.
With many MPs asserting that public ‘trust’ was at stake here, was it really a great idea for a Vaz to put the Opposition’s case?
For the record, she was much gripped by alleged racial and misogynist abuse.
Andrew Bridgen ( Con, NW Leics), a persistent Bercow critic, said: ‘ There is a relatively small number of rotten apples but the problem is that those rotten apples are quite near the top.’
Col Bob Stewart (Con, Beckenham), in an eye-wateringly tight waistcoat, said ‘ the truth of the matter is it’s leadership’. Bullies ‘should be called out and dealt with’, said Col Bob. ‘What’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong. We should know that as MPs.’
It was touching to hear such innocence.
JuSTIN Madders ( Lab, Ellesmere Port), who kept referring to Dame Laura as ‘Dame Cox’, was not pleased with the media’s reporting of the bullying scandals. Yes, we scurvy low-lifes. How dare we report what legislators are up to?
Philip Davies (Con, Shipley) hoped there would not be a ‘witch- hunt against the current Speaker’, arguing that the bullying ‘predated’ Bercow. Yet Maria Miller (Con, Basingstoke) noted that Dame Laura pointedly said the bullying flowed down from the top of the Commons. ‘We have to make sure there is senior management change,’ said Mrs Miller – possible code for ‘Bercow must go’. Chris Bryant (Lab, Rhondda) took a swipe at the late Gerald Kaufman and his ‘autocratic’ chairmanship of the culture select committee in Tony Blair’s first term.
Sir Bernard Jenkin (Con, Harwich & N Essex) went on repeatedly about ‘the management’. Bernard enjoys talking about management. He was unhappy that so few MPs were at the debate. ‘I do not see all Members here. The whole of the Commons is not engaged.’ Sir Bernard was less enthusiastic than others about making MPs go on training courses to learn how to behave.
Gillian Keegan (Con, Chichester), after suggesting that MPs should have annual top-up training and should conduct ‘online educational work models’, concluded that it would be wrong to ‘scapegoat individuals and indulge in trial by media’. That, she said, ‘would show we failed to grip the systemic nature’ of the problem. Zzzzz. ‘Our reputations sink or swim together,’ trilled Mrs Keegan. I listened to her with care but did not hear her disclose that she is godmother to two of Speaker Bercow’s children.
Alison Thewlis, for the SNP, attributed bullying in part to ‘class hierarchy’ and to some MPs overdoing it in the bars. A Scots Nat deploring booze. Jings!