AN INSPECTOR CALLS

He pays his way and tells it like it is

YOU would never know that Bankside London is part of the Marriott group. But that’s the point. The only give-away is the soap and shampoo dispensers screwed to the wall in the shower.

Otherwise, it’s all super trendy (‘art school without the dust,’ as its Los Angeles-based designer puts it), with concrete ceilings, contemporary art (plenty of Helen Gorrill’s ‘vandalising old masters’; pair of sparkly knickers, row of paint brushes) and staff clearly chosen for their looks .

Bankside is a new part of London — or at least an old part reinvented — on the south side of Blackfriars Bridge near Tate Modern, from which the hotel, which opened three weeks ago, takes its artistic lead. It’s next to One Blackfriars, Blackfriars a sky sky-high high apartment building that successfully blocks the view of St Paul’s Cathedral for most of the rooms. We arrive carrying an old-fashioned leather suitcase, which the receptionists think is the most modern thing ever.

We’re on the second floor overlooking a building site. Or is the cement mixer part of an installation piece? There are two double beds, both with throws deliberately scrunched up. One wall is dominated by a photo of a Barbican tower block.

It might be an acquired taste. But even if you don’t stay the night, it’s worth popping in and having a wander. The bar serves cocktails we’ve never heard of, such as Nelson’s Company and This Morning With Holly, and the restaurant has a Scandi vibe to it. The menu says it’s about ‘the Bankside tapestry’.

We get talking to Sam, the restaurant manager. He used to work at Scott’s and he’s brilliant. One day he’ll be a GM. The buffet at breakfast is hidden behind a wall, where you’ll find chefs waiting to cook an egg any way you want. Frankly, we had arrived laden with scepticism, but leave feeling invigorated. And impressed. Bankside Hotel 2 Blackfriars Rd Upper Ground London SE1 9JU Tel: 0203 319 5988, marriott.co.uk Rooms from £264