The dastardly Mr Deedes

Barclays has upset been-there-done-that rocker Neil young who’s furious to discover its sponsoring a Hyde Park concert he’s headlining next year with Bob dylan. young, a passionate environmentalist, accuses the bank of being a ‘fossil fuel funding entity’ and is demanding organisers find a replacement sponsor. Pity poor John McFarlane, 71, Barclays’ guitar-strumming chairman. He’ll have been dying for the chance to drool over the two decrepit old crooners. Droopy-eyed Standard Life Aberdeen chairman Sir Gerry Grimstone, 69, a genial ex-Whitehall mandardin who masterminded Lady Thatcher’s privatisation plans, is proud he was made an honorary captain in the RAF reserves last year. A friend whispers: ‘Gerry got so overexcited he’s had his tailor measure him up for an RAF uniform. Given his wobbly piloting of Standard Life, let’s hope he doesn’t plan on actually flying anything.’ City workers breathed a sigh of relief at yesterday’s decision to delay the Brexit vote. Many were preparing to pull an allnighter this evening to see how sterling fared on the overnight markets. Bankers Nomura had block-booked hotel rooms throughout the square Mile to allow staff to power nap. Traders samuel & Co, clearly not as flush as the Japanese, simply asked workers to bring in their own sleeping bags into the office. Credit Suisse boss Tidjane Thiam’s turnaround plans, which have resulted in 10,000 jobs being axed, are zapping staff morale, according to Bloomberg. But he’s expected to remain safely in post to see the project through for at least another two years. His longevity is attributed to a supportive board, six of whom he nominated himself upon joining the bank in 2015. Shrewd Tidjane, 56, is talked up as a future president of his native Ivory Coast. The ludicrously self-important World Economic Forum has awarded naturalist sir david Attenborough its 2019 Crystal Award, which celebrates ‘ cultural figures whose leadership inspires inclusive and sustainable change’. Recent recipients include sir Elton John and snake-hipped pop star shakira. I trust crotchety national treasure sir david, 92, is suitably humbled to follow in such distinguished company.